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Old 09-11-05, 11:22 PM   #1
Payn
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Ight Here's My 2nd Drop

IP: 8A05 210E

...k here is my topical joint 4 y'all 2 checc out so let me know...

Dangerous Tendencies


...He rocks back & forth moaning..Crying out amid tha scenery...
...Can't have tha 1 thing he desires, taught it'z evil, intrinsically...
...Brought 2 tha clinic 2 b cured..Around here there'z no noises...
...Still hears tha voices though, ones dat take charge of his choices...
...Just a small voice.. But still loud enough 2 control him completely...
...'It took away your life and put you here, go destroy it!', discreetly...
...It spoke so sweetly.. Suddenly found himself in tha driving seat...
...How did he get here? In tha clinics owner's brand new jeep...
...Tha motorway becomes a blur.. Masses of color passing quickly...
...Moves through traffic.. Addicted.. Withdrawal has made him sickly...
...'Here's your chance, it'z coming up!' Dat voice again, serenely...
...He knew what he must do at once.. as if he did dis act routinely...
...A swerve of tha wheel left him veering left towards tha wagon...
...'Grolsch' Splayed across tha side.. Canvas roof still slightly sagging...
...Jeep careers, hits tha spot, crates suddenly fly in all directions...
...Mindset so shredded no 1 on diz earth could have helped him...
...Bottles crash & splinter, cars slide, fires explode & bodies tumble...
...State of shock, uncomprehended..Those who can stumble through tha rubble...
...News report states 7 dead.. Tha actions of 1 man branded carcogenic...
...Tragedy cause by a lapse..Allowing tha escape of tha alchoholic schizophrenic...
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Old 09-11-05, 11:44 PM   #2
Calypso
£ivin a £yfe of Çrhyme
 
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Pretty nice topical...glad to see your bein active...had nice imagery, nice vocab, structure was on lock keep up the good work
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Old 09-12-05, 09:00 AM   #3
Payn
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fa sho mayne good lookin out i will
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