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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
03-19-06, 09:24 PM
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#1
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Bone is gay.
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Ritual
IP: B7EE 6DD9
with eyes still all shackled
in the blindest of traps, i'll; risk my life, flick the lights on & rise to do battle surprisingly rattled, now i shake the five o'clock shadow; coffee soaks in, for the moment life's defined by a tangle. . a rec-tangle, that is. & i gaze at it as a raving addict. taking in my facial mask as one of life's contagious facets a favorite practice, guiltily. . sure, the word may be right - but, i continue carefully, glimpsing in obscure shades of light. from the right to the left, now in spite & contempt. . one illfated glimpse make tangle & life seem unkempt entitled to sense, mine fail & even stifle my rep, when - a late or a tardy equates to an hour of mistitled 'detention' the world calls, now i laugh & don't accept the charges a regretful car spins wheels, my startled heels are incredibly charged, when. . i catch that PERFECT glimpse, & i'm finally cool. til i realize: my smile's here. . that is, three miles from school. this is addiction - a shameful one at that. |
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03-20-06, 10:40 AM
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#2
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Bone is gay.
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IP: B7EE 6DD9
Atti i will drop 2 links when people drop more poems because i looked at all the ones on this first page and i have left feedback on all if not on the site then it was when they showed me they shit on AIM to ask me what i though. And im not going to go threw the second page and upp 4 month old poetry pieces.
Drop some feed though if you peep this |
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03-20-06, 11:47 PM
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#3
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HAHAHAHAH!..i onno
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IP: 38C9 5533
OMG, thats niice, if i knew alot of poetic type words to explain then i would but i dont.
anyway. i liked your rhyming words. everything seem to be emotional in some way. and i felt it. very good work. hope to see more from ya.
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GFX Record 52-8-39KO  |
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03-21-06, 04:11 AM
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#4
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I have a lot to learn...
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IP: C98F 1FA2
I really liked this piece.
It was nice the way you had that picture to emphasize the meaning of the poem..
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03-26-06, 08:10 AM
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#5
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Out-Spoken
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IP: 5289 AD6C
this was ill....i actually thought i knew what you were saying..and I did....i didn't even click the link to the picture untill i scrolled down and say OMB's feedback mentioning the picture...i thought it was just an underlined word the provide emphasis
this was a great piece..best i've read tonight at the least your rhyme scheme was very well done, appropriate words and the use of stanzas great metaphors good shit return the favor if you get a chance http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2699946
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-28-06, 02:03 PM
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#6
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1926
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IP: 3240 794D
You've reached the three poem maximum.
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