nice poem keep up the good job

thx still uppin

that's hot way to go

thanx fa da feed...still uppin

damn that's very good

thanks fa da feed still uppin dis

ay uppin dis leave a link and i'll get back at you

uppin

Suggestion: Don't up so much, do what i do... Comment on other pieces you haven't commented on and drop a link... You're freeposting there buddy. Anyways.

I think this was just as good as the last one, and for the same reasons. The last 3-4 lines were the best of the poem. I would like to see more form you, but maybe something longer? 6/10

Return the Favor
Stranger At the Gates

__________________

do your research.

ay...thx fa da suggestion liquor of tears...i'll do dat from here on and thanks fa the feedback...

Yeah, I thought it was good. It was definitely an emotional peice. I think you really hit your heart on that one and let yourself open up, which is what poetry is all about. However, for me, sometimes it's hard to read a poem and actually give it any recognition and not get bored with it when you use abbreviations. I don't know if maybe that was just part of the artistic nature in which you wanted to display it, or maybe it's just out of habit. Either way, I didn't like that. However, on the total, I liked it. Good job.

__________________
I'll wait for you there
where the sun doesn't shine
Wait for you there
where the shadows run from themselves

ay thanks for the feed...most definatley appreciate it...uppin

leave a link i'll get back at ya...uppin dis

this is a great poem so keep it and also u made a good point in it too.