I loved to just scribble and let my mind snap-free
For Very few things in my life made me happy..
And when all the stress came on to entrap me..
The pen on the paper was what let the strap free.
Caught in a thought, completely distraught-were,
the only things keeping my head above water..
But rough waves, they brought-blur, I let that drown my sight
For its been a while since I sat down to write.............................


Last Night.....I cried.

For everything we were, everything we never can be,
Every time you love me, every time you can't stand me.
For everything I need, everything you deny to me,
Every time I listened, every time you lied to me.
For everything we shout, everything we never say,
everything we feel, everything we don’t display.
For everything I treasure, everything you take for granted,
all the sweet nothings, never mentioned, never chanted.
For every time I don't want to, every time I do anyway,
every time I reach out, every time you push my hand away.
For every time I was faithful, every time you still suspected.
Every time I cried, left alone, left neglected.
For every time I had a comeback, every time you raised your hand,
Every time that I explained, and you couldn’t understand.
For every time I waited up, and every time you never came,
Every time I was the victim, but every time I was to blame.
For every time I was hopeful, every time you proved me wrong,
Every time I sang the words, of another sad song.
For every time I was scared, every time you left me crying.
Every time I smiled, but inside I was dying.
For every time you crossed the line, and every time I took you back.
All the instances of love that need the qualities we lack.
Every insult struck a nerve, every grin and bitter word,
Every thing that I’ve put up with, everything I don’t deserve.

I realize now, though it took a lot of trying..
I’m ready to move on..I’m ready to stop crying.




..This might have seemed simplistic to some, but its about as real as it gets for me right now..When I first wrote it, it didnt even rhyme..Just a big mess of self-recovery.......Maybe someone enjoyed it.

I don't peep this part of the forum much but this was good yo I see you been rippin shit over here for a while as long as I can remember



Do you have aim ? if so hit me up blackflame1821

Unlike Black Flame, I do peep this forum quite often. So often in fact that I have a refigerator over there full of left over food, and a spare matress over there that I often sleep on when I'm sleeping on threads.

It's like... like y'know... like... cold. Like shivering cold. Like warm, but warmth of tension. Hot, but not passion, anger. Mild, drenched in sorrow. Soaked in sin, pity. Pity of sin. City of sin? I'm going to stop babbling on now cause I'm not making sense.

This was one of those poems in which the reader looks not necesserially at what the author is doing but rather taking note what the author isn't doing. What the author isn't writing, it's important to. Know what I'm saying? I hope so, cause it's hard to explain. I mean, it's like you wrote everything. And by everything I mean you wrote the word everything. And you wrote every time. But everything and every time can lead to a multitude of possibilitys that you narrowed down to specific feelings and into specific emotions.

~
For every time I don't want to, every time I do anyway,
every time I reach out, every time you push my hand away.
For every time I was faithful, every time you still suspected.
Every time I cried, left alone, left neglected.
~

That part really caught my eye at first. Not wanting to do something but doing it anyway is an odd juxtoposition of a relationship. Sometimes it's good, like, I don't want to, but I'll bail you out of prison anyway. Sometimes it's bad, real bad. Like, I don't want to, but I'll suck on your toes anyway. (Especially since all but my own feet make my tummy feel funny.) I could quite honestly write my own interpetation of this poem, and write a long in depth personification of each line. But then that would make you paying attention to what I am doing, rather than taking note to what I am not doing. What I'm not writing, it's important too. Know what I'm saying?

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

this was fuck'n ill... girl this was one of the best poems i've ever peeped here....

noth'n much else to say...

rat'n....9/10

i had to read this 2 times. it flipped my head with the expresion in your approach. this was off the walls. the begining came off madd original. then when you droped " last nite i cried " and just wrote your heart. that was an ill flip. madd prop to the aproach in this.

peace

this definetly depicted the emotions of a lady/female o what have you...nah mean...ma this was beautifyl...the scheme was nice..ya flow was nice...ya vocab a lil off due to some miss wordin n ish...but this was beautiful..it made me think of y girl...n how she must feel sometimes

i dont give out compliments much ma...but you really hit the mark on this one...out of all the drops ive seen from you...this is onna ya best drops ive seen...beautiful ma an im bein real

holla

one...hunnet

__________________
freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

DaGyrlRemarqabL?... damn

made an impact on me, sorry i've never peeped anything else from you in the past... i was kind of busy living a life that was mine and wasn't at the same time... so its koo now that i'm shown the light of writers out there who got the real goods to spread emotion... i felt this... i respect you...

peace








•

ThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYou to EVERRRRYONE who replied to this..I really realllly appreciate..I was on a downward spiral and every comment on here is slowly taking me back up. Meansa lot.

Fuk me...this was one hell of a piece...

....i read it twice...just to grasp the 'echoing' power of it...made so prominent by the constant (and effective) use of the every (whether as everytinme or everything)...

...it just seemed like raw emotions were channeled through a difficult (and i dunno, maybe even complex) structure...very few people on here could write it in such a way...very unique (then again, maybe many can, but just aint go to your stage...either way...)...

...i must admit...i read this while watching a class Simpsons episode...but i just got glued to it (the piece that is)...

...and well damn, such a whirlwind of emotions depicted so powerfully...for a subject that seems to be so (so so so) close to your heart n soul...i gotta say...it was executed brilliantly...


...enough said, me comments probably don't do ya piece justice...

...respect...

Gege, as i said in the last post, it's harder to realise what inspires one on here...and i'm always intrigued at what inspires someone to do something...and your question has provoked me to ask you - Gege, what inspires you? You write in such a uniquely depictive way....with it's own special depth..

Its a lot like what you said, V...I write about whats going on in my lif, or whats going on around me..But I dont limit my topics at all..

But this piece for example...Real as it gets, like I said..So if its really depictive its cuz I just wrote what I was feeling..
n actually I wouldnt ever want the guy who inspired this piece to read it..

Um... too late... I've already read it.

Don't you know all poems written by women have all been inspired and written about me. Duh.

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

^lol...Riiiiiiiiighht..

This Was Aight And SImplistic But Real
And As An Artist You Should Be Able To
Do Things Like This Besides A Song With
A Hook ABout What You Go Through...O Snap
You Did Do That And All You Need Is A Hook...
Stay Up Girl Things Get Better

~Content~