Syntext

i'mma cereal killer ready to test limits of humanpain...lets commense...
to kidnappin ya family shit i'm murderin ya moms ina sentance~/~
ropes ready to linch kids...now what ya offense isdefenseless...
rippin you pussies like sororiety bitches with
stalkers on ya campus's~/~
deploy death i'm drivin rusty nails in the deepest
of ya vien...evil riens...shit syn and MC test the limits of
morbidly pain~/~
insane nah we just wired,capable to eventually ripskin....
stop bichin gasoline ya family til they itchin with
they chest singed in~/~
demented i'll choke a oxygen mask till lungs
collapse and ya pass out....
fast mouths get crushed in i'm the devil child born
in storms under a rain cloud~/~
snap backs....drive railroad stake threw you ...gotthis kid scared to talk...scared to walk ....fuck iding this victim you can't outline parts in chalk~/~


mc81

This world doesn't lack killing, nor blood spilling...
But I'll be the last to cease murders in newspaper
clippings
Think i care when tears shed? Got A Betta Chanze of
Givin Away Beer Kegs, I'll Trash Ya Specs
Opposite Sex? I don't care as long as Snappin Necks,
And Give use to Tecks
Cuz Ya Pain I Thrive, I'll Gouge out Ya Eyes, Just So
I Can't Hear Tears Dry, I'll put you In Flight
Despite Ya Fright, I'll Fill Your Legs Up With Clips
So Now Peeps Can Call You Thunder Thighs
Despite No Hate, I'll Determine Ya Fate, Leave Your
Mind Outta State
Like Progressive Insurance I'm Killin You At a Great
Rate, Imma Take more Than Estate
I'll Amptutate Ya Limbs so Now You can Dodge Hits with
Agility
Ya Chances of Survivin Are Slimmer than an Anorexic
Community

feedback plz...

drop a link for feedback and i will give u some... btw this is my first ever poetical thingy... man that feels good to get all that outta my head...

__________________
<center>Deja Vu

..Remember These Dope Kids?..

.................................................. .

upppin for this.....................................

yo both of you came strong

rippin you pussies like sororiety bitches with
stalkers on ya campus's~/~

very strong punch mad props but it was also the strongest the others though good lacked the same umph

mc81
This world doesn't lack killing, nor blood spilling...
But I'll be the last to cease murders in newspaper
clippings
Think i care when tears shed? Got A Betta Chanze of
Givin Away Beer Kegs, I'll Trash Ya Specs
Opposite Sex? I don't care as long as Snappin Necks,
And Give use to Tecks

all that was hot top props

Cuz Ya Pain I Thrive, I'll Gouge out Ya Eyes, Just So
I Can't Hear Tears Dry, I'll put you In Flight
Despite Ya Fright, I'll Fill Your Legs Up With Clips
So Now Peeps Can Call You Thunder Thighs
Despite No Hate, I'll Determine Ya Fate, Leave Your
Mind Outta State

none of it made that much sence

Like Progressive Insurance I'm Killin You At a Great
Rate, Imma Take more Than Estate
I'll Amptutate Ya Limbs so Now You can Dodge Hits with
Agility
Ya Chances of Survivin Are Slimmer than an Anorexic
Community

real ill you cats sound good togeather just lacked a lil build on it and you will be mass ill

thanx for the feedback fam...

__________________
<center>Deja Vu

..Remember These Dope Kids?..

.................................................. .

no prob peep me and noe brayna on neva b famus

the bars got really jammed up, iono that may have messed up the flow, it looks better on notepad.


can i get some more feedback?

__________________
<center>Deja Vu

..Remember These Dope Kids?..

.................................................. .

good topic and most of tha vocab was on point,flow was there,wordplay was patchy but in some cases good,all in one a nice collab,8/10.Good verse for a first collab.

Peace Dawg.

thanx for the feedback... UPPIN on this...

__________________
<center>Deja Vu

..Remember These Dope Kids?..

.................................................. .

uppin on this thanks for the posts..............

Uppin for feedback on this piece...

__________________
<center>Deja Vu

..Remember These Dope Kids?..

.................................................. .

niceness......SynText had better vocabulary in this...u both had some tight flows....nice topic....agree with west on a majority....nice collab....esp. for first collab i've seen SynText in......mc81...u had some nice shit too...u had a better flow...and u was more on point than SynText....but Syn had u in vocabulary........

RATING
8.5/10

peace
4:20

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ayo thanks for the probs smoka lets get some more crits...................................

uppin man lets get some more feedback.

__________________
<center>Deja Vu

..Remember These Dope Kids?..

.................................................. .