RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-01-03, 03:41 PM   #1
A2Z
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
'Down Under'...SS Verse

IP: 6236 079F

A Place Of Myth And Legend...A Place None Knew To Exist
A Mystic Glow Set By The Triple 6 Laced With The Burning Crucifix
A Man Dies In A Knife Fight...Lived By His Money And Sweet Talking Lip
A Man Shrouded In Motral Sin...He Begins His Brimstone Trip
Its Over With, Not A Chance To Repent, No Dice For An Exorcist
A Dim Light Burns Away A Man's Life...The Very Soul Is Penetrated
A New Level Of Pain Is Generated...As An Evil Man Is Incinerated
Paying For What Hes Done, For How Many People Hes Lost Respect
For How Hes Was Too Cheap For Chairty, Now He Pays For It In His Flesh
Suddenly Hes Remembers Who He Loved, The Way He Used To Live
About All The Girls hes Had Sex With...All The Fatherless Kids
All The Child Support He Refused To Give...All The Girls He'd Hit

*Flash*

He Was In The Trailer, With His Girl...A Too Young Blonde Raising A Kid
She Was Angry At The World...One Way Or Other, He Didnt Give A Shit
But This Was It...She Had Spent Too Much Money, Too Little Left Of It
She Desperately Tried To Explain... He Wouldnt Listen, She Began To Plead
'Buying Shit She Dosent Need...Does She Thinks It Grows On Trees?'
'Shes Lieing, The Fucking Slut'...He Began To Twitch In Anger Restrained
He Grabbed A Bat, Raised It Up...

*Flash*

...He Was Back In His World Of Pain

A Tornado Of Screams...A Wall Of Fire In Capabale Of Breach
The Mourning Souls Strung Out On The Walls, Vieled In Fiery Wreaths
Skin Is Slowly Scalded Away...No Possibility Of Relief Or Escape
And There The Man Collapsed...Left To View The Smoking Landscape
And Left There For All Eternity...His Last Day Was His Judgement Day
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-03, 03:42 PM   #2
Chrit
Retired.
 
Chrit's Avatar
 
Posts: 4,862
Joined: Mar 2003
From: Elevated beyond Description
Status: Offline
Text Record: 75-2
Audio Record: 2-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 65E6 24A8

Good imagery and flow here...

Good vocab and conveyed the topic well...

Not a huge fan of the subject matter but still a good read...

Keep it up...

Also peep mine...

What?...
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-03, 04:25 PM   #3
Provoked Images
Just call me your Savior
 
Provoked Images's Avatar
 
Posts: 631
Joined: Aug 2003
From: Tha heart of tha devil
Status: Offline
Text Record: 8-6
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: BB8C D4B2

yo, that was some tight shit, it had good flow and tha flash was off tha hook too, jus one problem is tha subject u did is too overused, i think half tha threads in open mic by tha better MC's have to death and tha thought of it, but as a flow i'd give it a 7/10...
__________________
<marquee>?</marquee>
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-03, 04:33 PM   #4
A2Z
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 4577 CD9A

^^it wasnt my choice...i was given a topic in the sacred scriptures
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-03, 04:36 PM   #5
Provoked Images
Just call me your Savior
 
Provoked Images's Avatar
 
Posts: 631
Joined: Aug 2003
From: Tha heart of tha devil
Status: Offline
Text Record: 8-6
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: BB8C D4B2

oh i c, then just take it as i said, a good drop...
__________________
<marquee>?</marquee>
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:59 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.