this is just part of the 1st verse of this song....its about a soldier in iraq...just something i am feeling right now....its to the hate me now instrumental.....please give me some feedback on this.....if u think its wack...tell me.....if u think its hot...tell me....thanks

TRUE LIFE HERO

Hault regular lives, steps aside for the lessened hype/
as he accepts the pride to provide and its somewhat unrecognized//
but lets it slide cuz he catches vibes/
from the techs and nines//
each moment less deprived of outlooks on aspects of life/
the test is right here to make it out iraq alive//
writes his family letters just so he can pass the time/
half the time you wonder what goes through his criminal mastermind//
the truth is he wants to get back to what he calls disaster;life/............................................


tell me what u think

Pretty dope, wish it was longer, flow was really good, vocab was pretty decent, nothing really bad to say about this. Just make er longer, and it's will be a dope open mic. I never really heard hate me now, so i don't really know the beat, but i just read it the way i felt you meant it was spoe to be read, and it flowed really well that way.

Anywho keep droppin,
much respect

return the favor
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=154365

thanks for the props....i know that you have heard the hate me now beat....the nas and diddy song..

somebody hit me with some feedback

uppin for feedback.....tell me what u think

cmon hit me wit some feedback

damnit can someone hit me with some feedback....shit

i give feed to alot of yall.....and i get none back.....please can i get some feedback.....damn

Yo,,,hommie this was a dope piece an the word play was hot
I hope to see more from you soon,,,9-10

__________________
My level of battle
is your problem.
Not minds.
So dont toss me
till to you tried me.
This is my ring.
You cant box me.
I'll drop rocky.
I've climbed the mountain's
Making all contenders obsolete.
All you bitches is running like
water fountain
knocking me!!

Defeat list
Young Beezy
out come:5-o
Lost Battles:none
out come
none

thanks.....youll see more of me....uppin for more feed

yo like verbatim said... wish it was a lil longer...
but other than that.. this shit was str8
nice vocab... and u should record dat shit wit da beat..
cuz its a hot beat and peeps would really feel ya flow den...
nice shit tho.. 9/10

it was ok but ya need to lose the / // bits we know where the verse ends lol...and i got that beat too and im using it now lol

5.5/10 kepp droppin though u'll improve

__________________

MySpace

R.I.P OMB

To Be Honest...I Don't Know Why I Bothered

i wasnt feeling this, it wasnt deep enuff, a peice like this needs to be deep, u had too many fillers an some lines didnt connect at all

uppin for feedback

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