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12-02-03, 08:39 PM | #1 | ||||||
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~~~just a ThoughT~
IP: DA18 ABFD
How long is it till we do what we preach//
wondering much of this world I can be reach // people hate cause they know they cant teach/ but how can you look for what’s not there? How can u feel bad when really you don’t care// Walking down the street stab with a handful of stares// Life is worst then a bad dream its always a worst night mare// Thinking where are my riches and where is my love its not at all fair// But this burden I can no longer bare// Sic of tired of hearing to be always true to your self// When this same people get buried in their own cooperate wealth/// Its worst then filth when poor people cant pay for their own health// But am a leave a foot print in this street/ Ill be rocking beats every time I step with my feet// but this fag gangster i see on TV want to go out shooting and leave innocent people choked// Never every thinking about the wives and kids who’s now broke// must be a ~hoke~ because all yah haters and muders wannt to do is ~provoke~ Thinking about it so hard but yet I still cant get the idea thought/ Now kids are killing kids don’t give a shit even if they get caught// Reminds me of how raps heading down this cooperate drop…. ************** FINAL TOUGHT looking at my pen thinking is this weapon with in? can i kill more poeple and commit a thousand sins? i heard a paper and ink change change a loos to a win// but now i relize that the final though is till infin// no matter how much you learn youll never know// what the simplest man on this earth already shows.... * BAck ground* when i was about to drop this i read it though and had some more ideas which is the final thought part i add on ....... But there is no title to this its just wat u picture or learn from it so plez till me what you think and ~peace~ Last edited by *Bling* : 12-02-03 at 08:42 PM. |
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12-03-03, 02:23 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: DA18 ABFD
plez tell me what u think of this ...............
' ~peace~ |
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12-04-03, 06:39 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: DA18 ABFD
fuck come one and just peep this. I drop at your guys poem and stuff
~peacE~ |
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12-06-03, 09:22 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: F79F E8EA
It did have that feel of quite real thoughts. Kind of fed up or reached a point where you've found the need to just let rip (though in a relatively controlled manner) what's on your mind. The questions which seem to have so many answers...yet also none at all. The situations which seem to have entrances and/or exits.
It did seem from the heart. Something that isn't meant to be anything but a personal blast. It seemed to go off onto hip-hop...though it did also seem to look at other things. Which i guess is what hip-hop does anyway. Er... ...resp... |
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12-06-03, 10:16 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: D2D1 B5AF
basic rhyme scheme but it was pretty deep
not too bad vocab and good emotion change the structure you wrote though .................................................. ............. |
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12-07-03, 03:12 AM | #6 | |||||||
The Ultimate Weapon
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
^word to that...pretty simple drop...but it was nice still...i
could sorta feel sum of the things u were saying...so that was nice...jus fix it up a little and add some complexity and you'd do way better...propz peace |
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12-07-03, 01:32 PM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: DA18 ABFD
thanks for the propz and for honest feed back. Once i get my adiuo up to noob stander lol a going to drop a song talking about the rap game and my life. And if it seem i wonder i bascailly did cuz i cant just speak on one topic.
hopefully itll sound/ make more sense when drop aiduo tho here is some more bits of the song am goign to drop Answers seem to be far ~away~ waking up thinking what will happing ~today~ am never sure what to ~say~ so I ~pray~ that my heart will follow the ~way~ cause in the darkest mist all I see is you in the hall ~way~ am not broking ~down~ just un ~found ~ another bit.. How are my words supposed to reach the earths ~children~ then FUCK THIS RAP GAME only talks about ~killing~ yah i said Fuck it you know how you also ~Feel it~ every one knows but syas nothing am to ~real to it~ ^^^^^^^^^ Am not going to transalte to you just tell me what u think of it its supposed to make u think.. ~pEaCe~ don’t care if yah hate me or be ~feeling~ |
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