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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-22-04, 12:06 AM
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#1
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A Reflection Of The Past
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dabatos vs George K. Stanza
IP: 88C4 C811
Check Ins Must Be In By Friday Or Your Topic Wont Be Given...
If Check Ins Are In Then You Will Be Given A topic To Write About... Poems Then Must Be In By Sunday 20 lines plus... TOPIC: Thoughts Of Homicide
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Crhyme Sindicate
Last edited by Valor : 12-22-04 at 09:28 PM. |
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12-22-04, 02:56 AM
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#2
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Flyweight
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IP: 057F 5554
checkers.......
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12-22-04, 01:34 PM
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#3
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: A34C 61B2
Checking in this
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www.FG-Servers.com    |
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12-25-04, 04:21 AM
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#4
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: A34C 61B2
Thoughts of Homicide Ton's of hatred, anger, and jealousy all filled up inside... I was told she was with family, I guess it's the truth since she's on the bed and my bro's by her side... While I quietly scream and tear up inside... Dangerous thought's come out With pictures of homicide.. How do I know? Im standing right here on my tip toes.. Covered in snow, staring... at them right through the window.. His hand smoothely sliding down her leg Could tell her eye's are full pleasure.. Moaning his name non-stop, I can't stand it, doing this I won't let her.. I quietly sneak towards the back door Leaving behind tracks from my feet.. Door's unlock, I open it Slowly crawling on my knee's... I slowly stand up, look around Realized I'm in the kitchen.. Dirty dishes in the sink, Could still smell the fresh roasted chicken.. As I look to my left, I see a knife resting on the table.. Giving me an idea, How to ruin the time of my ex-angel.. I pick it up, walk towards the room.. Slowly push the door open, All the good in me has been completely consumed... I silently whisper, "Hello! Clarese!" They both hesitate as they see me, as if they've jst seen a ghost or a monsterous beast.. I smile, Door Magicly Slam's Shut, Then the room is completely darkend.. Scream's are heard, The knife dim, Now again it must be sharpend.. The End
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www.FG-Servers.com Last edited by Dabatos : 12-25-04 at 08:21 PM. |
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12-26-04, 11:44 PM
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#5
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Flyweight
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IP: 057F 5554
Do you think you could kill?
wrap your hands around a man's throat choke and slowly steal his breath. give death; it's the question we all ponder but when an if you were put to the test would you expect to honor saying yes? play God become lost in a fit of rage forget regret, the guilty thoughts, cost of the step you'll take and make em' pay cus to erase a face it only claims a sec but can you evade the pain that stays abreast when the stain is set? ____ Painted red - a man’s fate upon my hands faded hate lingers - on crimson blades and fingers its too late now because only Satan understands ... plans to command pain instead of thinkin first but it’s stinking worse - so awful, as it saturates my nostrils inexhaustible this hostile taste... that to the sane, plain, or logical remains implausible yet’s made possible through a loss of grace blah i didnt know the deadline was in eastern time which is why this didnt get a proper ending oh well Last edited by Lyric : 01-04-05 at 03:24 AM. |
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12-27-04, 12:24 AM
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#6
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STROBE's Favorite Rapper
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IP: 5671 DBDD
ok dabatos good story more of a topical then anything the story was very plain and vocab wasnt really used anywheres near the extent it couldve been used it lacked creativity here it basically went on what everybody wouldve wrote about this topic blind rage the visualie was ok but the story moved way to fast no hate but i wasnt really feeling your piece
 george i dont know who the fuck you are but good drop vocab was used effectivly and you said so much more about blind rage then the averge wouldve seen you stayed on topic but made the topic all that more vast very creative here and thats what i like cuz only satan understands plans to command without thinking first that line right there means so much its crazy dope good drop vote-george
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Overall Rapverse Record Including Leagues 94-29
R.I.P RAPVERSE
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12-28-04, 05:21 PM
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#7
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Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP: B3FF D9E4
Dabatos:
-more of a topical than a poetic verse -ur focus was more on plot development and less on imagery -standard approach to the given topiv - no originality -gd vocab -structure was okay -try 4 more imagerythrough uses of metaphors and similies George -nice structure: use of stanza's showed you thought about the themes in ur verses -gd vocab -imagery created all the way throught -nice approach to given topic - evaluating the consequences Vote : George K Stanza
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"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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12-29-04, 09:34 PM
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#8
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
george wins 2-0
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Crhyme Sindicate
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