young relationships cant work out like being obese
i think you had cold feet,
cause i had you twitchin like a pheen gettin no weed
as soon as i come around you would get scared like im the police
i remember when that nigga said that girl like you
you acted real young ,and the first mistake was trying to wife you
i wanted to eat you first thing in the morning like cereal
i should of known from the start you wasnt wifey material
my heart wasnt broken cause it was getting old
cause you still young and im a young man thats getting grown
like we never had time alone ,and we barely talked on the phone
its true what i was told,
that young relattionships dont last they just end slow
have you left hanging like ya johnson in cold
you was just a season so im lookin back watching the wind go



weve been through the break ups ,to the make ups
your the first thing i think about when i wake up
hoping we'll be together until god takes us,
to heaven, you got me stressin
cause when we break up you leave me lookin so depressing
everytime we break up i learn a lesson
cause we make up everytime we share our confessions
we deserve each other because of all the things weve been through
i know you thinking what did you get youself into
trying this again,
this love shit i aint gotta pretend
cause im feeling it, your the way i get away with the shit im dealing with
man i hope this shit work
cause you got me scared ima get hurt


http://kpizzle24.imeem.com/music/Eq-elHKm/crazy_love/
http://musek.imeem.com/playlist/y5dPp-uW/
http://716fluke.imeem.com/playlist/U9rviDK_/

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3137773
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3137777

first off i dont believe u meant this shit...is there even a real chick u writing bout?? cuz u didnt convince me there was...i think ur just writing shit ta get a response out of people...i think u woulda been way less basic and described what u really felt like if u was going through something like love.

but u did have nice vocab and ok wordplay...i think ur best at putting words together cuz u seem like a lyricist and u know what words to rhyme...but ur wordplay was kinda ehhh boring...i didnt find anything that really put out the oohs and ahh's. i tkink u should practice on what your going to say and how to put together some good lines that really catch people's attention. say what u mean even if ur not serious bout it

for ur flow it was ok..it was kinda just there really...i mean there was nothing there for me ta say whoa the flow was horrible...but i felt like u shoulda probably worked at giving it some more rhythm...the flow was just ok

nothing special here really..just work at it and most of all say what u mean and work on ur talent some...i think u got some level of potential u just gotta really work at it so pc out hope ta see more drops from you fam.

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i got the same vibe from this as mindstate did...very basic rhyming pattern, no multis in there or anything, see a few metas tho so thats cool...no emotion to it really tho, thats why peeps thinking it aint real ya get me...gotta get a proper vibe from it man...flowed well i felt tho man...thats what a lot of peeps trip up on...i know its hard to really see a flow on paper, but u could flow this shit easy..good work tho, i can see u got something there man, u just gotta work at it, keep rhyming, keep elevating..u will get there boy...

It wasn't bad, a little weak. but can only be improved. Just go back and re write each line to make it flow more? But it seems as if it had no meaning and was rushed through just to rhyme words at the end of each sentence.

but keep it up man.

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can i get some more feed....i just editted it

eh wasnt bad but doesnt have that much feeling or emotion behind it. it seems about a real person but has no real like energy i dont feel the words ur sayin it just dont seem like it hits anywhere its just there..need to make more sense with the lines because u cant really watch the wind go unless u say sumthin like watchin leaves in the wind blow..doesnt catch imagination without imagry..and on a persoanl level young relationships and wifey material just kinda dumb ya know...i dunno keep droppin and elevate