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Old 03-30-07, 09:39 AM   #1
technique
dope
 
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sickhead that i got

IP: FCC3 53C6

i got alot on this mind the sickness is within
cant you feel it cuz it's right under your skin
never afraid to say what I ever have to
cuz all i wanna do is hate and smack you
attack you with these words you cant tackle
waiting for the wack emcees to leave em dismantled
u should respect me cuz my flowin gives u a spin
wot do i have 2 say to tell you you aint anything
everything u say to me just leaves you back fired
my verses are so good they leave yours tired
expired got no time for u cuz it aint yours
im well known for starting these rap wars
everyone on this site hates me hmm i wonder why
cuz im better purely and you try to denie
the more u agitate me i wanna see u dieing
if i cant beat u verbally i'll send you flying
sickend mind speaks it's own fuckin language
i try give u brain damage ur lifes pemanently banished
just not in a nice mood sorry for bein rude
but i do not care if i see ur sorry ass abused

i say take more time in listening to the rules

Last edited by Mindstate : 03-30-07 at 07:38 PM.
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Old 03-30-07, 09:55 AM   #2
skeptikal
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Weak. Take more time, and choose your words more carefully.
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Old 03-30-07, 10:49 AM   #3
Young Sin
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I wouldnt say weak... but take more time writing n listen to Tupac n Bigge up ya vocab
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Old 03-30-07, 11:11 AM   #4
Mad Dog
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^ LMAO @ listen to Tupac and Biggie!!!

but yeah vocab DEFINITELY needs upping work on some wordplay coz it seems too direct try explaining the feelings you're puttin in this piece through metaphors bruv...

rhyming is too basic too, needs stepping up
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