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Old 03-18-06, 05:42 PM   #1
Jonathan Mill
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Closes his eyes, gulps three times;
tries to lose his sight as the light
pries through loops and writes lines
along side the wide end of his noose,
as he resumes a fast descent through
the brain's metal chutes again
....... to conclude in hallucinogens.



Favorite lines. I like the picture you painted. Your wordage is what made this rhymes get my attention.
The metaphors were soild which made the flow fluid.


Stay sharp



http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=224392
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