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02-13-04, 08:12 PM | #1 | |||||||
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Neva again
IP: C1DA C961
Im not gon let u hit me again
Dats the last time watch i got a plan IM sick of seein bruises on top of me Im sick of seein tears run down my cheek Gain some respect and love for me All i feel is hate when your hand hit my face But the next time you hit me It aint gone be like this You gon be shock when i come back with my fist Yea rite now you think ima fool Dat im gon take it Yea rite im sick and tired of yo shit Im tired of cryin myself to sleep Then we make up you say you sorry Then you get mad and hit me again Im sick of this Im done in though with you Its over im leaving you And there's nothing you can do Cause when im walkin out All you gon do is shout Wishin i would stay But u know what im gon say.... Last edited by lyricalchick86 : 02-14-04 at 02:32 PM. |
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02-14-04, 02:33 PM | #2 | |||||||
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IP: 4577 CD9A
hey can some1 comment on my poem
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02-15-04, 10:07 AM | #3 | ||||
shawty"B"
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IP: C1DA C961
hey this is a gud poem..... the topic is a reel one. the imagery was reel gud. the word wernt expressed in a complete matter but it was there an i i get tha jest of it
........fav part......... But the next time you hit me It aint gone be like this You gon be shock when i come back with my fist Yea rite now you think ima fool keep droppin return tha favor ( me amabu n wher i go ) ....bless
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<img src=http://img43.photobucket.com/albums/v133/thanodia/shawty.gif>
JUST TRY AND STOP ME !! ........Shangri La........ Last edited by shawty"B" : 02-15-04 at 10:08 AM. Reason: title error |
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02-29-04, 11:27 AM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 6F95 38F9
it is a deep topic. i think u should get more descriptive with ya feelings though. i read this & feel like yeah u r tired of the abuse but not tired enough to leave.
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03-10-04, 08:24 PM | #5 | |||||||
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IP: C1DA C961
thx fo da comment
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03-13-04, 07:04 AM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: C1DA C961
good emotion i like it us betta vocab
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03-13-04, 07:05 AM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: C1DA C961
4-got
..............fav part............... All i feel is hate when your hand hit my face But the next time you hit me It aint gone be like this You gon be shock when i come back with my fist |
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03-15-04, 05:00 PM | #8 | ||||||
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IP: 1C3B C739
Agree with MA, most abusive relationships break-up 6 times or more before they actually end. This sounds like that. It's being mad without understanding. None-the-wiser. It's good, don't get me wrong, needs some more thought though.
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Give away the stone. Let the oceans take and transmutate this cold and fated anchor. Give away the stone. Let the waters kiss and transmutate these leaden grudges into gold. |
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03-19-04, 10:40 AM | #9 | ||||
....Trunks R 4 Bodies....
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IP: 6236 079F
I feal you that was a great poem and a great topic
hot stuff! |
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03-19-04, 09:07 PM | #10 | |||||||
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IP: 3240 794D
thx fo da comment
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03-19-04, 11:26 PM | #11 | |||||
Youngin jus call me Young
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IP: 4948 3CF8
i loved it..madd deep ma fave part:
"All i feel is hate when your hand hit my face But the next time you hit me It aint gone be like this You gon be shock when i come back with my fist" i got tha pic in ma head u kno....it almost wuz a TINA TURNER and IKE thing...lol GREAT POEM |
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03-30-04, 01:49 PM | #12 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 08B7 7EED
Great Poem! I like that and it sounds like you wrote that straight from the heart! Do Ya thing girl you'll get noticed in a big way!
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03-31-04, 09:58 AM | #13 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP: 0934 DA79
this was one of those that kinda make ya heart go out places ya know? I aint gonna sit up here and get all sentamentally so umm my fave lines was
"All i feel is hate when your hand hit my face But the next time you hit me It aint gone be like this You gon be shock when i come back with my fist" tyte ish
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Just lurkin the shadows..... Been 'Round Since '01 Fuccaaa |
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04-02-04, 10:04 PM | #14 | |||||||
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IP: BD3C 891F
I'm definately feelin that. Keep up tha good work!!
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"Beats so hott so up goes the FAHRENHEIT!!" Officially repping Platinum Land, Chi-Town Stand UP!! |
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04-02-04, 10:47 PM | #15 | |||||||
Ya mom massages my nuts
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IP: 3240 794D
Thats was a deep and thoughtful poem it was solidly written keep dropping cause its only gonna get better.
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