what kinda stuff i should work on, or suggestions.


i can feel it running thru my vains and my arterys
you know the name, the game i spit aint noone as hard as me
i put hammers to nails, nails to coffin
the more i spit , the more opposition soften, shit is costing
your life , me not a dime, point someone out with a hotter ryme
you claim fire like your words written in gasoline, i call you texaco
cause your head gassed by your team,
watch your lean,
when you aproach the mic, and you dont spit what you hype
out go the lights, like conedison at night
way 2 go, your self proclaimed rymes was all hot h2o,
you in the losers colum writing letters to mom saying how you hate to go...
home empty handed and cried,
you where wak, stupid, mummbled , off beat but at least you tried
now feast your eyes,
on a masiah of babble, scoring points with vocab the gandhi of scrable,
the malcom X of ryming text,
with the tec by the mic just to see who ryming next

its not bad. i like "on a masiah of babble, scoring points with vocab the gandhi of scrable,"
i think that was ill. i think all u need to do is flow a little better and you will be all set. keep up the good work