Round 2

15 Line Min.
25 Line Max.

Check In: Monday, September 15th.

Due: Saturday, September 20th.


Topic: Never Again

__________________
<center><br>
- The End -
Original Rb Admin
And Still Watching Over You. <br> <img src=http://home.houston.rr.com/tacofox/epenis222.gif></img><br> -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-

WOW. D vs V interesting.....they both suck!!!!!!.............................
........this.............was..............mychecki n................................................. ......................

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

Hmmm..*strokes stubbly coming onto hairy chin*...interesting indeed...

...i wonder whether this is over 100 characters....might as well check...

Never Again: Haunting Remorse



In streets of darkness,
Where i walk..
Lie lonely paths,
With thoughts,
From past...
That stalk,
My mind,
To distort,
Some more...

Jerking,
Tugging,
Pulling her strings..
To motions so poetic,
Creating temporal bliss..
Blind to lies that rode her dry,
Left here to reminisce time gone by..
Truth now torments to growing decline..

Each step,
Cold,
Echoing regrets,
Untold...
Stories wept,
Unfold,
from upset,
Moulds...

Saw a mountain,
Witnessed the ocean
Tree's so tall they stole the sky......

Talked for hours they pass quickly
The sea and cake convinced me
Eye's wide with pride I cry

An emotion or physical feeling-
A pain although i keep breathing
look at this beautiful scenery..
for this moment then Never again......

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

Woah... you guys brought total contrast to the same topic. I mean, varentao, your peice just seemed so sinister and spooky. But deacond, you're seemed like a beautiful painting that'll never be seen again.

Anyway, these were both bottle breaking styles, and as such are a bitch for technical merits. But lead to some extreme expression.

Um... that's all I wanted to say.

~Shalom~

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

i've gotta give my vote to verentao on this one, it was written so short and sharp. it sounding like someones thought process who was slightly out of his tree, and you managed to convey a whole event in just a few wellk placed words and lines. i've gotta give deacon some credit as well, it WAS pretty close, but your poem was a little too vague in content for my tastes.

vote- varentao

Hmmm interesting Vague in content for my taste.....

"i've gotta give deacon some credit as well, it WAS pretty close, but your poem was a little too vague in content for my tastes."

I really dont know you but i will say you should put more input in your reasoning. My poem wasn't vague i actually thought it was pretty understandable..Now i feel like an ass for complaining but this was a half assed vote.. Anyways thanks for the one sentence of criticism.....I'll go write a paper on its Content!!!

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

This is definitely a close one. Thats why i think Dagyrl havent voted on this yet.

The fact that varentao gave a definite unique scheme made his piece more refined. Complexity of its content seemed a very much reflection of a feeling from the past. LIke memories haunting the mind. Imagery of emptiness and the whole echoed lines rushed it through the end. Very impressive.


Deacon on the other hand...executed his lines through a picture. It would just be there but at the same time its gone from its vision. Its like haunted death and the beauty of the world would never be seen again. A Remorsed Farewell. I am not sure why johnny said the content was vague.(maybe thats how his perspective on it..I respect it.) but as i see it...it was very much self explanatory. A lost haunted vision blurred through time.

TO be honest...i really think this is the hardest one to judge so im just gonna say goodluck.

Brilliant pieces guys.

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

~Shiznit~
. I am not sure why johnny said the content was vague.(maybe thats how his perspective on it..I respect it.)

he should not judge...Camarac should judge..more openminded

Y'know its not every tourny the original judges LEAVE right in the middle of the damn thing..Kind of leaves everyone else a little fucked up..

Everyone is complaining about Johnny...
I dont know what to do...
and I dont know how ill pick between Deacon and Varentao..
But i do know im never being a judge again..
*dies*

Ill get back to this tonite.

Dagyrl no worries.....i know what its like.....i felt weird complaining about it. maybe im the cold shoulder here..anyways i trust yours and phrantiks judgements.......good luck......nice verse V

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

In a way, both are vague. The style of the pieces mean they need to be dug into.

Johnny's critique/judgment should be more extensive, i agree. And i dunno what this does for his credibility as a judge. I guess you got to leave that up to Gege to decide...

A very nice piece deacon. Awash with imagery.

Damn, my arms are aching from bringing this heavy pillar back home from the city centre. Uneven and all. So i'm off for now...

do you guys want me to judge this or not?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

__________________
W o r d P e r f e c t