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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-28-05, 01:50 PM
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#1
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~Babylon~ vs Valor (LightWeight Championship)
IP: D5FE 7245
Rules:
Battles Go Up Friday Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time 20 Lines Minimum 40 Lines Maximum No Biting No Recycling Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week Topic: Voice inside my Head
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The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line "I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus |
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01-28-05, 07:00 PM
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#2
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~Lyrical Nirvana~
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IP: 0825 899A
check......i slacked off last week......so i hope u ready......g'luck
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01-29-05, 01:40 AM
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#3
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: 28AD 5545
word g'luck....
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Crhyme Sindicate
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02-01-05, 08:42 PM
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#4
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~Lyrical Nirvana~
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IP: 0825 899A
"The Voice" lies told, through my own eyes though speeking from enter thoughts, I must be psyco but why though, why it distorts my thoughts before I saught, to end sores from things I faught from with in, but must it be so simple then like steeling canes from tired old crippled men some how I'm tickled then, then begin to laugh soon this sin will pass, but the emptyness I filled in past seems to last, seems to jog down a widdled path a temple of trash, hiding in a voice, a mental rash disfuntional mind set, but its still not time yet for me to turn my head, in disgust of my regret my soul churns, its evil, somehow the cold burns my brain like old ferns, cant grow, its stuck and so firm it speeks in tung..."bagr het zarro"...soft, weak and sung "grab the razor" it say's....and quickly leak my lungz "lisce royu rtoha"...whitch means..."slice your throat" might just grope, my inner spirit, "fkeni", the "knife" it spoke I truly wonder, why dreams are nightmares, i do still slumber pooney number, count my trimuphs, but see more blunders the talking the screaming, even hard to walk when speeking the sounds of darkness shreeking, the darkness is thinking its hartless breathing, humms like the devils mind at werk its heavens signs that lerk, showin the end, at times it hurts the damage looks mininmal, my fate lays undefendable the secret behind the mindseye, gateway into the subliminal knife now looking more tempting, mabe its night time venting anger at right time, builds up, fight with mind, self condesending voice in my head, leaving my body moist, covered in red ment to hurt my self, but now my framily will suffer instead ~Babz~
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02-02-05, 01:18 AM
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#5
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...
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IP: 6CB8 12EC
Valor... You are gone from the league for 2 weeks... I will leave this open for feedback, if you give feedback for Babylon i will accept it as a link.
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02-02-05, 01:55 AM
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#6
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~Lyrical Nirvana~
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IP: 10C3 AE8A
damn i hate wrighting a verse for no reason......shit!
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02-02-05, 03:26 AM
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#7
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~Break Bred or Play Dead~
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IP: D135 D6AF
Yea 2 bad u had 2 key that dopeness 4 a no show
emotion was there i was feelin the flow you had good vocab could have upped it a lil more but valor would of have 2 drop pure fiya 2 beat this drop ne way..nice words which led 2 imagery during topicals u wanna invision it and i invisioned the words in your head Great drop.....Much better than Last Week *Nuff Said*
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02-02-05, 03:32 PM
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#8
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Light Weight
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IP: 6FA7 7304
There was lots of multies and shit to start thie piece...
made it seem like a fast paced voice inside his head vocab was decent, the idea was nice...and the imagery was there overall a pretty nice piece man |
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02-02-05, 09:27 PM
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#9
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: 28AD 5545
DAMN sorry, i was kicked outta my house lol,i just got back in today......
but
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Crhyme Sindicate
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02-02-05, 09:29 PM
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#10
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: 28AD 5545
DAMN sorry, i was kicked outta my house lol,i just got back in today......
but yeah im outta this league iguess peace
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Crhyme Sindicate
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02-03-05, 11:41 AM
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#11
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 858D 1ED8
Damn, too bad you wasted such a tight verse...Maybe you should post it as an Open Mic or something cause I definately liked it. You had your flow on lock, multis improved it of course. Vocab was good, didn't need to be any more complex or basic, you found the good balance. Structure was impeccable and the emotion was strong in the verse. You described it in a very vivid way, imagery was dope to.
Solid drop! Good job man! DQ
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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02-03-05, 01:57 PM
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#12
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~Lyrical Nirvana~
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IP: 3240 794D
thanx i appretiate all the feedback...............................
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02-03-05, 06:38 PM
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#13
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As Seen On T.V.
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IP: 5867 FD83
word, nice drop. i hate no shows.
well, good luck in the league. v/ Bab |
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02-03-05, 10:33 PM
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#14
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
^^^^wow buddy dont talk shit holmes..
i have a life man.... again soory babz for no showing
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Crhyme Sindicate
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02-03-05, 10:49 PM
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#15
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...
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IP: 6CB8 12EC
Quote:
I hate no-shows too... Doesnt mean it's shit talking... I'm sure you have been no-showed before... Isn't it annoying to write a verse that in the end doesnt matter? |
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