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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-12-04, 07:11 PM
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#1
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New to RB
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Maybe i can be
IP: C1DA C961
Your the one I want to be with , your the one I want to be seen with
Where the love is really true , youll be one Ill be two Whats the matter baby boo am I coming out hard , like I cruise the boulevard , had the keys to my heart door was always open ,I was wishing ,I was hoping you could see it in my eyes, I aint gonna lie I dont give a fuck, If you drove a new truck cuz money cant buy true friends, you can trust all the lust in the hust tell me when your mad at me maybe I could be your man do you really understand that im doing all i can ,but this bitches ,and these snitches ,steadly fucking up my plan cuz I am who I am, and I do what I do , its fucked up getting caught up with this love that aint true like the first time around we were crazy little kids , Im a sucker for the love, and you did me like you did , now the second time around , did you whisper in the wind cuz the rumors going around that im caught up in the twist no matter what they say trying to dirty up my name , sharkie Im a ganster no Im never gonna change what im really trying to say baby its ok ,you want to have fun we can have it that way Im a rapper , Im a writer , Im a lover , Im fighter , Ive been looking for a girl that is proper that can give me all the time in the world , from the head to the toe in the back seat parked on the side of the road give me one last chance , give me one last dance , in a one mans world, are you with or without THE SHARKS |
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02-14-04, 01:04 PM
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#2
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New to RB
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IP: 4577 CD9A
what up people can i get some replies on this flow to see what ya think
hitme up sharks |
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02-14-04, 02:00 PM
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#3
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New to RB
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IP: 11F0 89D4
nice emotions...dope stuff...i felt this one...lots of dope ideas portrayed....
1.
__________________
..Ghetto Essence.. |
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02-14-04, 04:52 PM
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#4
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1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
thought this was ok.... some decent rhyming, but it seemed quite basic, the flow was good, but the vocab could be more expressive... also the transition could have been smoother, expand your scheme, drop in some internals n shit...... keep at it
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02-14-04, 05:03 PM
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#5
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Banned: Compromised Account
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IP: A560 AB42
yeah...Dev said it all...
this was basic...a little boost in vocab coulda helped..but not too much of it.. sorry i couldnt catch the flow cuz of the way u structured it...but anyway... just a simple piece that can use more complexity.. a bit more creativity and u should do better... peep the link in my sig...its a similar concept to yours ...those damn broads...peace..thanx... |
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