i dont know where i got the idea that baphomet/nos was a freemason, maybe i'm projetcting on that one.
..
but, as far as being paranoid. being a christian and living in a world controlled by the devil through things as obivious as freemasonry its pretty easy to feel uneasy. not to mention my current heaviness of spiritualality while recently dealing with this blatant problem. seeing/feeling spirits, happens throughout my life when i get more into reading the bible. and that goes for the people close to me aswell.
..
shits just crazy and having 'freemasonry' being close to 'me' isn't making my life as a christian any easier. i dont do anything half ass therefor i have to be 'absolutely sure' before heading down a path. but at the same time i am absolutely sure on praying and Jesus because thats the only thing that works when things get unbarably 'heavy.'
..
its just shitty that when you try to get closer to God the devil is right there messin with your head to 'distract' you. and i know the devil's a faggot ass pussy, but when i can't always keep my thoughts clear fromt he spirit of fear, clear decisions become less clear.

__________________