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Old 01-26-04, 02:26 PM   #1
Khôi NguJin
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'Saving Face'

IP: 7FDF 14FE

The victory has been declared as the U.S. defeats
Their rival adversaries, and now has the rights
To pursue the freedoms they've been aspiring
All of these countless years..


First there was a plan..
Unfolding beneath the plain
Underneath the tidiest mentions
Underlying beneath revived names..

Challenging the masses
From Damascus up in shackles
Battered, the bruised souls take..
EAch waking moment to back up
Every movement in it`s own place..

Now Different races all pursue
Under one name, prosecuted
Slammed against the walls, blundered
Confused, not knowing what to do..

And now the President, our local resident
Inhabitant, always battling..
Although we never understood
He impressed upon the neiborhoods..
A shame at that, our President
Should know his ways malevolent..
He's opposite benevolence
Forever setting precedents..
The predicament at hand seems worse
The preachers believing
Bereaving the churches..
In which we worship daily
And the meager find them worthless..

So now were caught up in a mix
Tangled in lifes sick ugly twists..
Of sons a bitches suckin' dicks
Of others who don't give a shit..
Now the free ain't free
Lower classes poverty
Peruvian cocaine run the streets
AS police beat on you and me..
Political ties in which they mold
The Government will NOT be sold
For they run under no control
of the mind..
Which will be our downfall..

SEems like victory at last
Dwelling on the past..
Such a task and so we bask
In our hopeless fates of time
Soon to see a flat line..

The cosmos has and will diminish
Cause our leaders a fuckin mimic..
In the silhouette of his father
Finishing our only daughters..

Problem is, the places he goes
Acting behind curtains closed
Caught up in mass covered lies
Fuckin' patriots soon to defy
This puppet all in lies..
The show must go on bestowed -
Will no longer last, with no more growth..
Fuck it,
Anyways this mans finished
Who could have caused such blasphemy?
Mr. Bush so happily..
AFter all he's 'saving face'
A disguised figure in his place,
Merged with terroristic leaders -
EAch face in which are on his trump cards..
Now whos the enemy..
The devil..?
Or the man we have in charge?

Think about it..
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Old 01-26-04, 02:35 PM   #2
ELEETE
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At first glance i thought this should of been put under Poetic Scriptures.......but as i read it i though it flowed really makin it a good song.........it was pretty deep in content considering im in the military an know a lot about what your talking about........all in all i liked it........keep doing your thing.........an look up my latest piece : YOUR MY WORST ENEMY or just click one of my links for my past ones........but keep doing your thing an hit me up anytime......peace
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Old 01-26-04, 05:47 PM   #3
Khôi NguJin
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come on...
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Old 01-26-04, 05:49 PM   #4
Dev
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the basic content was ok... but the way you set it out needs work,... the flow didnt really seem to get going, changing when the verses did, plus they are too short,.... make your barz longer....
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Old 01-26-04, 07:32 PM   #5
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^ don't mind him, he doesn't know what hes talking about.

This was very nice, propaganda. I'm really feeling this because you have a lot of good points, i like to see opinionated pieces like this. The flow was fine, that dev kid can't read quality pieces i guess. The schemes were set up so nicely complimenting the next. I really felt this a lot and the saving faces was used as symbolism throughout the whole piece. Very well written right here. Much respect on that. That kid up there just doesn't understand it much, cause of the complexity of it. I understand it though, and you deserve the praise for it.
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Old 01-27-04, 08:24 AM   #6
RawSwordsMen
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Good work...the lines were well put together.....flow was nice good vocab...great topic spreading something different than other posts....spreading REAL LIFE shit
i dig these topics more.
overall its 8.5 outta 10


Peace..
1........
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Old 01-27-04, 08:32 AM   #7
Kwizikz
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flowed great...wordplay and msg and vocab was gud...
liked this piece cos it was different and a different structure
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