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02-09-06, 11:11 PM | #1 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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Withering Hope
IP: F1FC 4749
Dispursed Into Splinters Into A Hurse Durin Winter
Burst, Decayin For I Splurt The Words Of A Sinner My Presence Sentenced To Exile And Venture A Path Measure What I Treasure, I Head For Pressure And Wrath Deed's Only Managed To Get Me Vanished And Chained Judged In A Criminal's Sactum, I'm Averagin Pain My Mind Peels As My Toughts Sprout At A Higher Rate I'm Lookin For A Guidin Hand Like A Being At A Minor Age Seachin In Every Buildin So I Don't Get Killed In This Journey I Dropped My Shallow Mind Into Hell Consequently, Too Early That It Is Surely, Or Am I Not Worthy Of A Spot In Heaven Sit In A Golden Chizzled Chair Next To My Church's Reverand For I Fail To Seize What Impaled My Seed To Shear Evil Dragged To The Depths Of The Crater To Fear That Mear Lethal And Torturing Demon, Am I Dreamin Or Is This A Simple Illusion Souls Clashin, Road Crashin Into A Barren Wasteland Of Internal Brusing Under The Casted Shadows Given From My Sins I Depart To Another Dimension Were I Come To Begin A New Chapter In Life, A New Written Story About Me So I'm Waitin For A Guiding Hand To Route Me Soul Scattered So I'm Unable To Find This Puzzle's Meaning I Hustle, Scheaming For A Crack In This Struggle, Screaming For I Open The Double Doors And Dust Particles Fill The Entrance Creekin Sound Pounding My Ears, I Can Sense The Devil's Presence Tremble As His Essence Is Ingulgin The Room With A Vast Impact Bones Crack, Throat Snaps, Hands Wither As My Wrist's Crack While My Souls Being Devoured By The Mear Stare In His Vision Traveled Through My After Life To Discover My Secret Mission I Fed Ambitions And Nurtured Theft, But Hoped To Earn Respect To Realize I Ain't Worth A Spek Til I Visualize, I'm Burned And Wrecked But Threw The Prayers I Chanted, Fool...Took My Savior For Granted So I'm Senteced To Judgement, But Came To This Crater And Paniced So I'm Peeled Cell, By Cell, While I'm Rubbed Into Particles For My Spark Becomes Another Failure In The Newspapers' Articles So While I Gasp For Air And Shed A Final Tear Of Painful Recognition I Looked At The World And Hope They Realized What The Core Was Missin http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2650759 |
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02-10-06, 12:05 AM | #2 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP: F1FC 4749
seven views and no feedback? damn! don't sleep on this, promise you'll like it
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02-10-06, 12:45 AM | #3 | |||||
New to RV
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IP: 8298 F3E8
fyre yo... u know i luv ya style so keep it flowin
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02-10-06, 01:26 AM | #4 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP: F1FC 4749
thanks for the feedback homie.........uppin for more
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02-10-06, 01:49 PM | #5 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP: F1FC 4749
c'mon, don't sleep on this...it's definately worth reading
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02-10-06, 04:22 PM | #6 | |||||
One Mic
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IP: BB77 E4BA
this is a pretty tite piece yo. im feelin ya imagery you used and you had some nice multis in there aswell. the flow of it was decent aswell. nice job
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02-10-06, 04:31 PM | #7 | ||||
Flyweight
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IP: 1E59 4E29
Good shit like tha multi's
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02-10-06, 04:47 PM | #8 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP: F1FC 4749
thanks for the feedback homies................
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02-10-06, 04:51 PM | #9 | |||||||
Nt Your Average
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IP: 5453 A690
Thats nice,feeling the emotion in it,it makes you think,the imagery was great it made you feel inticed by it wantin to read more
good ish!
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OYD MAFIA
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02-10-06, 05:01 PM | #10 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP: F1FC 4749
thanks fam..............always nice to hear some good feedback....
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02-10-06, 10:21 PM | #11 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP: F1FC 4749
uppin this for some more feedback homies!!
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02-10-06, 11:11 PM | #12 | |||||||
Ill Nigga Alert.
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
Nice drop had a good flow to it, & also the imagery was good too...overall-8/10...keep up the good work fam. 1
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02-10-06, 11:27 PM | #13 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP: F1FC 4749
no problem man..........thanks for the feedback..............
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02-11-06, 10:27 AM | #14 | |||||||
RV aint Dead
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IP: 273D 59DF
dat was nice piece and a good vocabulary
very fictional and it leads to da imagination where as i can picture in a head overall hot shit 9.10
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02-11-06, 10:36 AM | #15 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP: F1FC 4749
thanks fam..........appreciate the feedback homie.................
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