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Old 01-07-04, 02:06 PM   #1
adagio
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feedback please

IP: 1A3F 0057

Ive got an open mind 24/7//
You shouldnt battle anymore just give up//
Like your momma said its better safe than sorry//
I took her advice, I wore a condom when I fucked her//
I felt for her, she dont need another son like you//
When you came out the world was in shock//
The worlds ugliest baby, so tha doc slapped ya mom//
Go crawl back under ya stone before ya get stepped on//
Im gonna smoke you like I would canibus//
Just Get out of here, heres some coin go catch the bus//

people are sayin this sucked cos most of it didnt rhyme, does ya verse really have to rhyme?
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Old 01-07-04, 02:55 PM   #2
Poise
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To be honest....Yeah.
That verse was horrible, not hating, just stating the facts.
Go read some tutorials or summat.

Good Day
__________________
<center>Suicide inc.</center>
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Old 01-07-04, 06:30 PM   #3
Peety Popeyes
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Yo, none of ya bars rhymed. Straight up playa, you need to go to the sub-forum and look at the tips.
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Old 01-07-04, 08:24 PM   #4
MP~PHASIZ
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Yo, this should be in Open Mic
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Old 01-08-04, 01:28 AM   #5
bloodymurder
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LOL.

practice makes perfect.

nobody's perfect

so why practice?
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