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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-20-04, 05:03 PM
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#1
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[pre]
IP: D637 72D3
Verses Due: Saturday, January 24th 2004
Voting Ends: Monday, January 26th 2004 Topic: Street Lights
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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01-20-04, 05:05 PM
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#2
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Fuck You, I'm Iller
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IP: 843C 2CD1
Hmm....
In... Shall be interesting http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...351#post1123351 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...945#post1123945
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<center> Did I Beat You Before? Yeah, Probably -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better- Last edited by Trapt Wit : 01-25-04 at 12:14 PM. |
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01-21-04, 06:10 PM
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#3
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ShO-Nuff. Fuckers
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Im here u yodelerzz
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MerK SquAd. <center><img src=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=8889&stc=1></center> |
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01-24-04, 12:35 PM
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#4
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Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
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IP: 8458 EAFD
Quick Reminder: You still have to vote on 3 other battles
Edit your votes into your check in |
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01-24-04, 01:36 PM
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#5
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Fuck You, I'm Iller
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IP: 843C 2CD1
Street lights
A night of tossing and turning... ...almost absent of sleep Nerves upturned knowing in the morning ...he will finally drop to the single knee . . . . Morning brings nerves as James tries to perfect the words to say Hoping her reply will bring forth such an unforgettable day Cant help but to smile from ear to ear as he pictures the reaction But the nerves raise his hearbeat to the point he has to push it back in Prepares for the task at hand trying to look perfect but time crawls Seems like miles go by trying to get to the ride at the end of the apartment halls Emotions constantly slip and fall, but in the heart James must be right Finally reaches the car, checks the mirrors... ... and once again replays those words he has in store for tonight Praparations fall into place, pictures her face at the sight of the rock Reflects on the love thats formed from sleepless nights with soulful talk Almost to the intersection but cars have stopped, on Aurora and Shale So hurried to call the cell to make a new time, but only got voice mail Just a slight set back, she must be busy, maybe had to stay late But no harm done, called Sage, and pushed back our dinner date "Oh great" James thinks as firetrucks and ambulances rush by Thinking why today had to be the day idiots tried to drive Becoming worried, James gets voice mail again, followed by calls to Sage Its sad how nerves can turn such a minute inconvenience to rage 30 minutes go by and for some reason James' stomach starts to sink Cell rings, but its not the right tone. Instead the ID reads... Mercy Clinic So he starts to think, I lost my father last week, did my mother go? And as the phone approaches his ear James' stomach is now glued to the floor "Hello" he says with an uneasy tone, hands shaking, almost dropping the phone "I'm sorry inform you your brother Mark has just been hurt... his car - T-Boned Tears begin to fall. "Is he ok?, how about the other car?, was anyone with him at all? "He's already gone sir, and a girl - Carrie is still stuck, frame is still being sawed" Could it be? Carrie? do they mean mine? It cant be!!! "Whats her last name?" "Carrie Todd" "Oh god...... No... "Will she live?, Is she in pain?" "I'm sorry sir, but word just came through, she isnt going to make it" And at that moment, the realness of the whole stiuation began to hit Senses overloaded, its like connection not meant to be started to spark And then the phone drops, James looks up and honestly wishes he were Mark Its doesnt make sense, but for some reason all the thoughts are in his head But the one above all is his jealousy of the recently dead Another 20 minutes, finally traffic begins to move again But James stays still, fearing where he should have been Too emotionally drained to put the foot on the gas Cant believe ...he lost love so shortly after accepting it at last Thoughts relax, but still knows life will be tough Especially the thought of not getting to heaven soon enough Throughout the years been through a bunch But now is the time for to endure true fights But its odd how a trip for lunch Would put his emotions through the cycle of the street's traffic lights
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<center> Did I Beat You Before? Yeah, Probably -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better- |
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01-24-04, 11:07 PM
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#6
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ShO-Nuff. Fuckers
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IP: C1DA C961
one day extension,.. please
Due Monday - TR
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MerK SquAd. <center><img src=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=8889&stc=1></center> Last edited by The Realist : 01-24-04 at 11:14 PM. |
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01-27-04, 12:00 AM
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#7
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ShO-Nuff. Fuckers
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IP: 4577 CD9A
street lights..
Stop for years now, the pain I've kept bottled in a screeching tune played in my head with a rusty violin instigating a revolt inside me thats just inevitable a damage to my soul one would descrive inreparable it started out not long after the time i started to walk I turned 7 and due to this I always hated to talk kept to myself, thruout and laughed at growing pains if they called that hurt, then why not change names Hesitation now I'm at an age that I can finally think for myself bring out in the open the dusty journal i kept on the shelf i was told this would help and bring some peace within but I gotta tell you..these words penetrate with that evil grin It was me not him..... I should have never been born He'd tell me it was the way, good daddies would scorn as I browse the words that put twitches on logic I'd read you this, but a virgin mind would simply just vomit repulse at the attrocities my innocense had to endure so I went to get back that for which makes us all pure [Go in a rampage of rage I let out the beast from it's cage and now I wipe the tears and soak his blood with this page he had it coming but now my hatred has caught up to him and so has this knife as it pierces right into him he was supposed to be my father, provider and inspiration but molestation and abuse yelled out with no exclamation!! so this is my reward as I wipe my grin with wet hands -problem is father died years back, so I took it out on this man .The End-
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MerK SquAd. <center><img src=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=8889&stc=1></center> |
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01-27-04, 08:40 PM
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#8
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...
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IP: A9A7 727D
chrit- hmmm
the story telling was dope. There were loads of twists and turns, and it kept me hanging on until the last stanza. The only problem is, I think somwhere in the middle it stopped being a rap and started being a story. The flow died. Also, try adding internal rhyming, and maybe some multies. It makes it all look nicer. Bribe-the colours were cool, but I was not aware that the yellow was called hesistation. "oh shiet, the hesitation light is on! better slow down!"...sorry. Your story was dope. I really liked the idea of the journal, and it was cool how it progressed from childhood to...I guess teenage years? and then to the conclusion. You had a strong opener that kept me reading, the violin line was dopeness. Good twist at the end. v/K Largo
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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01-27-04, 10:39 PM
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#9
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ShO-Nuff. Fuckers
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IP: 4577 CD9A
hesitation because at times u hesitate to wether u wanna keep going and try to beat the red light or just come to a complete stop.......so it is a little hesitation wether your gonna keep on going or not...
__________________
MerK SquAd. <center><img src=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=8889&stc=1></center> |
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01-28-04, 12:44 AM
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#10
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Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
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IP: D9A2 C6B8
sadly with 1 vote
largo wins |
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