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Old 01-05-07, 11:55 PM   #1
GREVISS
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Twilight years

IP: B66A 4983

a 14 line topical batlle im having, on another site, "Twilight"


twilight/’twailait/ n.
light from sky when sun is below horizon,
esp. in the evening, period of this;faint light;
state of imperfect understanding;
period of decline or destruction

the poplar tree was used for hanging in the southern states of usa
black people were often lynched and reffered to as strangefruit




"Twilight years"

pure beauty fading, sleepy crimson bleeding golden sky’s
seems to set upon my window as I slowly say “good bye”
………………..
I reminisce my conscious kiss the songstress lips of shallow tombs
A yellow moon hung as a witness somber whispers gallows tunes
My mellow mood unveiling rust as shadows swing upon the wall
and yet my phone is off the hook and still they always seem to call
“hello whiskey ”swimming sinking….. throw my bottle to the floor
shattered shards of broken glass reveal a southern promise torn,
brothers seeking retribution….. not so easy to ignore
battle born before my time….. I’m just so tired of this war
father taught me as a youngster of the poplar and its fruit
fifty years of fucking hate… until I finally learn the truth
………………..
as I sit upon his rocking chair Ive see my final dawn
Twilight hour doesn’t knock …it sits and waits on your front lawn


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Old 01-06-07, 12:07 AM   #2
GREVISS
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Old 01-06-07, 11:26 AM   #3
Crime
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not o bad good concept a lot of emotion fam keep uppin ya shit
" dont let ya mind follow ya lyrics, let ya lyrics follow ya mind"
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Old 01-20-07, 10:16 PM   #4
GREVISS
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uppin to the top...
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Old 01-21-07, 03:40 AM   #5
Cannabarz™
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similar to what crime did, the concept was iight, lyrics subpar, creativity decent, set up good, imaginary good, overall decent.. keep up though.

6/10
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