Yo this one look real deep in yoself and search....i don't know if ya'll get where am comming from....


Amused is I with the complexity of the mechanism,
of darkness and brightness coming from one prism.
Wonderous how leaves still grow green, God knows,
The unbelievable heart hold both joy and sorrows.

We smile one minute and the next minute we cry,
We fail today, tommorow, yet we never quit to try.
We kill, we conquer, we flee, yet we want peace,
We slander another, spit, split yet we say please.

We marry and argue, break up and yet we make-up,
We love, we hate, we travel and run, yet link up.
We make and break, we gain and loose and yet live,
We sin and pray, stray and obey, and yet believe.


Q: Isn't there a way to maintain this gunmen?
A:Yes, One idea was suggested "Ganja with 'ecstasy', it curbs the hunger and makes people happy and love each other...lol

Am fuckin wit ya'll...........

Attached Images

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the theme is a lil playe...but ya approach was nice...in order to feel ya depth n mind set...you gotta read it as though you are IN yaself..if you get ma meaning....ya vocab was coo..n so was ya structure...

holla

one...hunnet

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freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

Thnx For the Comments How can i make it more like not into myself..lol am fukkin wit ya yo any comments are welcome how i can make it better feel me playa

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This was nicely done....

...an over-view more than anything...it seemed a bit dettached from the writers actual feelings at times...but still, flowed smoothly and well, vocab was used well...and was a, well, smooth commentary on society in general...in many parts of the world....

...as i said, maybe you could've attached your emotions to it better...but then again, to me it seemed like an over-view piece, full stop. which would mean emotions of the writer would not need to attach you emotions on too much.

Was a very good piece, respect....

Var Thnx for the comments and i still have to work on my poetry make it more emotional namean but like u said it will be an overvieuw kinda piece but thnx for the feedback

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I didnt like this piece as much as other ones you've written. I think a big part of the meaning to this written was humans are hypocrites. Overall not bad but i think i've seen brighter days in your work.

-1-

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