This was something I wrote while playing "Epiphany" by Staind...
And I incorporated some of the lyrics into it and wrote around them....the lyrics in bold/italic are from the song....

Cause it’s always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than…a little girl inside
That cries out for attention yet I always try to hide
I don’t linger on yesterday for fear of my pasts return
I don’t give hope to tomorrow, for I’m tired of being burned
Expectations gather on the cuff of knowledge’s sleeve
But disappointments have stain’d my gown, a tarnish that will not leave
I recall days of happiness and cry a sad song for those parted smiles
Now abstract stares conceal the vacancy of which my life comprises
Cause I talk to you like children though I don’t know how I feel
But I know I’ll do the right thing if the right thing is revealed
Inside my heart are boxes each with a chain that can’t be broken
Kept secure with locks long rusted, with little chance of being opened
And she too is inside my soul, her tears are what feeds my spirit
Lost within the depths of my mind she cries, but I cannot hear it
With no reflection to admire, who is it that stares before me in the mirror?
I stare into familiar eyes, but taught well over the years to fear her
A woman of strength, she mimics my movements and my choice of words
But in her eyes I see the same demons attacking her only her screams are not heard

Cause it’s always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

~Soul~

Really Nice Piece Soultress, made me think of all the innocence lost from my own childhood, when I was just a wee girl with so many dreams. How easily they are trodden on as we grow.
The loss of the naivete.
Interesting how you have incorporated the lyrics into the poem, or perhaps the poem is built around the lyrics I should say.. always good to see new techniques.

Kudos~

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This piece actually does seem just like someone has wrote it off a song. Well, once you told us.

It just fits nicely. Not exactly in a technical way. But in the essence it sets out to portray. Or maybe it doesn't set out to portray it, but it does. And also the personal edge, which isn't 'tainted'. It is just there.

Well that's how i read it. Nice...

...resp...

i simply liked it, didn't feel like it had a topic though, but it was a nice read, as in "tainted" ^^^ i didn't feel that, i felt a hidden hope for a future while holdin on to her own soul, as well as a sense of deep hurt that she could feel and was not "tainted" but it has to do with ur definition of tha word "tainted", i liked it as a simple read for enjoyment with a lil depth, keep droppin...

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<marquee>?</marquee>

Much appreciated..

I actually don't listen to Staind. Or much of any mainstream modern yabronis. But nevertheless, if they can get this kind of inspiration out of someone, then they must be doing something right.

*Opens KazaA and begins downloading* hehehe....

~~~
With no reflection to admire, who is it that stares before me in the mirror?
I stare into familiar eyes, but taught well over the years to fear her
A woman of strength, she mimics my movements and my choice of words
But in her eyes I see the same demons attacking her only her screams are not heard
~~~

^^Word, I definitly know what you be talking about there. Being able to look at oneself subjectivly I guess. Amazing stuff.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

I actually love this song...not just a underground hip hop jookie...
you should have entered the tournament because you would
go very far but as for your piece now....Aaron Lewis is great...

even with your vocabulary dilluted you are still able to get your
thoughts across in a way that most people would give up on...
some of the pure artists that ever have writers block may
perhaps write a verse to their favorite song as if they
were on it to realize what they didnt think they were
even capable of....all n all this was a decent piece soul

la paz

I liked this piece... feels like you keep a lot of yourself bottled up inside and that you're finally facing it now ... at least that's what I got outta it.
Nice written around the actual song, you threw a lot of emotions in. Definitely liked it.
Keep droppin baby girl.
1Luv

iight

i lliked this alot, dont think ive ever heard the real song, but this was nice. i didnt drift off and it flowed nice, it fit all together nice.
and my fave part was the end i liked how you ended it, it really got me thinking


~Tera~
DONT HATE

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wasnt that bad i was feelin it even though it stemed off an already created song.keep spittin,peace out baby girl

ty guys

i liked it, but i liked it more when i read 3 mths ago.
so uppin foe my partner in crime

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the one that watches the watchmen:

Hey Soultress~
Really nice piece here, girl..You have always had a flair for writing, I remember reading some of your stuff waaayyy back..Nice concept here, you did a good job of working off the theme of the song and relating to yourself personally..I liked it. Nice work, Stay up.

i didn't like the song........the way you played off of it was very good......and i liked the poem......but my dislike for the song kinda held me back.......i do think that this took talent and wonder how long before some herb tries to copy it.........good piece....sorry i didn't feel it as much as i probably should have......1