RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Poetic Scriptures
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-21-04, 10:31 AM   #1
¥ung_gÅl_†®àumå
New to RB
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Oct 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
Post Her Book

IP: EC26 724F

Her Book

She failed to understand the purpose
The truth, there was none
It was just a sick game they played
At the diner table that night she sat and spoke of the truth
Her parents consulted the school but it was of no use
“Stop looking for attention” they said as she suffered silently
Treatment now became worse as did the physical abuse
One night as she fell into the depths of her thoughts, she decided
Death was the only option, it was time to head for the exit
That night the clouds cried ,waves roared and the wind howled ferociously
And that innocent, guiltless child died
There she lay with a butchers knife stuck in her chest
Blood puddles on the covers and floorboards
It was all so clear now, she had stabbed herself
The gates of heaven opened as did her bedroom door
Her mother screamed and poured out buckets of tears
The angels of heaven gathered as did her family
Now they feel guilt with her blood permanently on their hands
While they read a piece of paper painted in red
“ Right now I’m slowly dying with a butcher’s knife in my chest
They called me names and punched me
Since you believed them so much you can ask them the rest
It’s not my fault it has come to this, I don’t want to die
Now as you stand mourning my demise I want you to know,
I …………”
Here the sentence was broken, because the pain had all come to an end
Life is like a paper back book
With it’s beginning, middle, and end
With its problems and solutions
With it’s tears which are extremely hard to mend
Here I have written passage, a part from her book
The part in which out of anger, fear and confusion
Her life she felt it was necessary, so she took

By Lena Arshad
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-04, 11:05 AM   #2
Dirty Nigga
E-Style, Bitch.
 
Posts: 6,728
Joined: Aug 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 33-18
IP: 24A3 0EF0

it was aight desi.....
pretty nice vocab, stayed right on point throughout...
maybe could have introduced the meaning of the peice in the first couple of a lines a lil better...
but you'll get the hang of everythin as time goes on
just keep doin ya thing..
__________________

People Hate What They Can't Conquer
Send a message via MSN to Dirty Nigga   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-04, 11:13 AM   #3
fluidmoon
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
 
fluidmoon's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,183
Joined: Jun 2004
From: NEW YORK
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 2-0
IP: 0ABC 464B

this was great, nice imagery and storyline, great emotion and vocabulary, keep em comin...1
__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:50 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.