my heart is ripped torn like piece of paper
something untapeble can't be stapled back together
i'm shocked overwhelmed of the results caring causes
i've cared so much that loving turns to losses
the results pour down like a shower of rain out of my eyes
sooner or later the love begins fade and emotion starts to die
like an echo it is heard as a child begins to crie
thoughts wonder where did I go wrong
why did i let it get so far and theres werent as strong
i recieve advice that begins to cheer thee
i wish i can show you true pain and how hard it hits me
you were unique different from the others brought
but you are just the same not as special as i thought
why is it so hard to let you go and let my heart and emotion be free
why can't i just not care what you do and let you be
there are many things that i want to scream and yell
i am angry,frustrated,and sad and wish these feelings all to hell
to others eyes you werent attractive or appealing
but to me you were a angel who i thought i can take for the stealing
your age was drastic practically two years under
i didn't care though cause age is just a stupid number
i thought i showed how i felt by the sacrifices i have made
didnt know that special things can make one go insane
but i'm not the one to blame at this game you call a relationship
i have a heart and you had to speak words of hurt to put me through this shit
i am too good for you that's the only explanation for it
but i am fine and you know what your gonna hate it
cause your missing out on me a wonderful individual
i can't even believe i went through all this trouble
you couldn't tell me and hurt me to my face
but all that shows me is immaturity and aspects of disgrace
a couple weeks i spent with you but in realization just a waste
the word MATT is like poison to my ears
how can a four lettered word bring me to tears?
but i can't speak words and hate you no longer
cause i have a heart and it didnt kill me and now i am stronger...

uppin.......please don't sleep thanxs

iight

hey girl i really feel like i cant relate to this piece, i can almost see old memories playing in my head. its amazing! lol

the beginning got my attention by the second line, and you kept it there, althou alot of stuff in your poem is stuff you hear everyday over and over i knew i was going to see something new and unique appear. the first 2 thirds, had a great flow and sounded good, even with the aabb setup, it worked, but the last 1 third got a little rougher, more raw, but with that came more emotion, and alot more personal, you made it YOUR piece which is great.

nice drop

~Tera~
DONT HATE

__________________

This was really good. I liked reading it. You've got one in the Poetry Legends don't you? Anyways, parts of what you wrote here I really felt. It was like you were describing me.

"i wish i can show you true pain and how hard it hits me
you were unique different from the others brought
but you are just the same not as special as i thought
why is it so hard to let you go and let my heart and emotion be free
why can't i just not care what you do and let you be"

That 3rd line brought up bad memories of this girl I used to be with. Everything started out good but then she started changing and showing what she was really like. Definately not as special as I had thought she was. Then the lines after that described me some more cause I had a hell of a time letting go of her. Ok, enough of what happen to me and back to your writing.

The way it was written made me think that whatever happened between you and this guy just happened and you sat down and wrote about it. I liked that. You put a lot of emotion into it which isn't too suprising since this is an emotional thing you went through right there. Not everyone can write about it so well though. I don't really know what else to say so I hope all is going well and keep on posting.

thank you both i appreciate it...umm it's been two days i think and i still cant' get over it...i got the nerve to tell him what i feel and it just made it worse or i don't know...anywho i appreciate it...

thank you

I like this piece i can reallt realt to it because i had that situation happen with my ex b;/f matt just a month ago (only he was older) anyways, ypour poem spoke volumes to me, i thought it was a really good piece

umm thank you......i am glad that it touched you i hope you can read more of my writing soon to come....bye and thank you again..

PE@ZE

i'm shocked overwhelmed of the results caring causes
i've cared so much that loving turns to losses

this line i felt the most. I have experience some of ya pain, so i understand.
great expression.

thank you a lot j nice

The purity of heart in this piece was resounding. The angst hovering over it, light before heavy....

The ending rounded it off nicely. On a more 'up' point. Well it was more bitter-sweet than anything. But still, relatively on the up..

I got no criticism for this piee. Cos of it's type.

...resp...