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12-26-03, 02:10 PM | #1 | ||||||
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Thinkin About War
IP: 4DFB 1EB1
Contemplate
How would life be like If there was no hate Was no fight for cake Don’t have to run from Jake No putting up a fake Everybody in the land ate great Big steak On the plate of the poor Off the floor In the house that’s yours No more whores No more wars For oil or score We all lived in peace Forever more No packing heat Only heat to keep the peace warm Be warned Ignorance can’t only hurt the ignorant But you didn’t listen when We told you not to do it Stupid Now you get Locked up in a cell Live in hell Your life is a living hell You act like you like living this way But we know you hate The way You stay On lock down Look down Head hanging low You know You may not survive Now I bet You wish you would have lived right But you spend long nights In cells Alone you wait Sit and Contemplate |
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12-26-03, 02:22 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 575A 4BB1
This was well... I'm speechless! Not in a bas way but in a good
way. The title doesn't really fit but who cares. It's easy to read and understand. Keep doin ya thing |
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12-27-03, 12:27 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 7A34 7AAA
thanks....uppin
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12-27-03, 03:43 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 5F0A 0E4C
Who's Jake? I presume it's someone you know who's a kind of war-monger of the streets. Or ya pa'. Maybe.
Anyway, this most definetly left a dense atmospheric feel after reading it. Especially cos of the way you ended it. And the overall image of one sitting down contemplating about such things. In a place where one would think these kind of thoughts would be slightly out of place, maybe. I do in a way, relate to that. ...resp... |
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12-27-03, 03:56 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: EFB9 0558
thanks...jake is the police...upp
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12-27-03, 04:02 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: 5F0A 0E4C
^Oh yeah *scratches head*...totally lost that in me head. I blame lack of food today.
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12-27-03, 04:09 PM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: EFB9 0558
lol
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12-29-03, 11:36 AM | #8 | ||||||
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IP: 3B84 B871
WOW...UPPIN
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12-29-03, 12:28 PM | #9 | |||||||
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IP: 8197 FA9C
this was a nice read
kinda basic but when you really just read it line after line, very carefully, you really just start feelin ya shit. Ya got your message across very well, which I think it prolly the most important thing bout poetry. You set the situation in an almost dramatic way, which adds more emotion to this piece. Nice drop... keep 'em comin resp |
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12-30-03, 06:29 PM | #10 | ||||||
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IP: C4B5 0CF0
thanks...jumpin
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