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Old 12-26-03, 02:10 PM   #1
LYRICALLY BLACK
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Thinkin About War

IP: 4DFB 1EB1

Contemplate
How would life be like
If there was no hate
Was no fight for cake
Don’t have to run from Jake
No putting up a fake
Everybody in the land ate great
Big steak
On the plate of the poor
Off the floor
In the house that’s yours
No more whores
No more wars
For oil or score
We all lived in peace
Forever more
No packing heat
Only heat to keep the peace warm
Be warned
Ignorance can’t only hurt the ignorant
But you didn’t listen when
We told you not to do it
Stupid
Now you get
Locked up in a cell
Live in hell
Your life is a living hell
You act like you like living this way
But we know you hate
The way
You stay
On lock down
Look down
Head hanging low
You know
You may not survive
Now I bet
You wish you would have lived right
But you spend long nights
In cells
Alone you wait
Sit and
Contemplate
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Old 12-26-03, 02:22 PM   #2
Phantasia
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This was well... I'm speechless! Not in a bas way but in a good
way. The title doesn't really fit but who cares. It's easy to read and understand. Keep doin ya thing
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Old 12-27-03, 12:27 PM   #3
LYRICALLY BLACK
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thanks....uppin
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Old 12-27-03, 03:43 PM   #4
varentao
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Who's Jake? I presume it's someone you know who's a kind of war-monger of the streets. Or ya pa'. Maybe.


Anyway, this most definetly left a dense atmospheric feel after reading it. Especially cos of the way you ended it. And the overall image of one sitting down contemplating about such things. In a place where one would think these kind of thoughts would be slightly out of place, maybe. I do in a way, relate to that.

...resp...
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Old 12-27-03, 03:56 PM   #5
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thanks...jake is the police...upp
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Old 12-27-03, 04:02 PM   #6
varentao
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^Oh yeah *scratches head*...totally lost that in me head. I blame lack of food today.
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Old 12-27-03, 04:09 PM   #7
LYRICALLY BLACK
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lol
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Old 12-29-03, 11:36 AM   #8
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WOW...UPPIN
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Old 12-29-03, 12:28 PM   #9
Split-eyez
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this was a nice read
kinda basic but when you really just read it line after line, very carefully, you really just start feelin ya shit. Ya got your message across very well, which I think it prolly the most important thing bout poetry.
You set the situation in an almost dramatic way, which adds more emotion to this piece.
Nice drop... keep 'em comin
resp
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Old 12-30-03, 06:29 PM   #10
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thanks...jumpin
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