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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-22-03, 12:32 PM
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#1
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Over Weight
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it is what you want
IP: 6236 079F
the scrutiny it undergoes for every life lossed,
its the unimaginable oasis of life it uniforms, how to be thought of but never herd, to be known by millions but not to say one word, the overexistant powers of the formula to which is unackowledged, only of which god is to acknowledge, to have the constant movement, the sway, poise of beauty what can be said in any other way, clean, beautiful, estatic, pure, with every word i've said now do you concur?
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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05-22-03, 08:57 PM
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#2
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New to RB
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IP: 00A4 6510
the first word that comes to my mind is God.
Do i concur? no. It did not work for me because God was used as a subject in the poem. it cannot be be what I want if it is there... or what I see is there laid out for me on paper but this generic carbon copy of God that pop culture uses without capitalizing the G. This was a good poem.... it was there... the potential was there... the grammar and writing was a bit off and I consider that essential. But it was thought provoking and thoughtful itself.... so I suppose overall I would concur.
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I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale. Last edited by Philo : 05-22-03 at 09:01 PM. |
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