My daughter Hollie ur the love of my life/
4 us 2 be 2gether 4ever id make any sacrifice/
its been no surprise that ur mother wud try 2 prise/
u from me but ur uncaring mum cant realise/
I need you more than the breath I bereave/
I just fucking wish ur bitch mother would leave/
This earth since ur birth shes tried 2stop me/
Looking after and adoring you properly/
Shes gone through the courts and now legally/
I cant go near you because of a killing spree/
Shit ive served my time and along the line/
I acted aggressively but I did regularly decline/
The fact that I was guilty just 4 u hollie/
Atleast u have never stopped respecting me/
Capital punishment tried correcting me/
But they failed and now fate/
Is calling me after I had 2 terminate/
Ur interfering mother but 1st ive got 2 terminate/
U my beautiful daughter before the police arrive/
And stop me from fulfilling my plan I will strive/
2 execute this plan just like u and me/
so here it goes goodbye hollie I will see u in harmony/
BOOm BOOM BoOm boom
And now its my tern 2 sacrifice myself/
Im sorry god be ready because imabout 2 end my health

wait..what baby..thats all i gotta ask!?!?!? what baby

At first I thought this was one of those "feeling" peices. Y'know? "This is what I'm feeling, here it is". But then at the end it had one of those, for lack of a better term, "trubrownangel"ish twist endings. I didn't see it coming and it was the worst/saddest possible outcome.

What I really liked was that the whole peice was just so natural. It's just word after word and line after line exactly the way it should be. I don't know if you spent a long time crafting it percise, or just sat down and it flowed out, but it sure came out awe inspiring.

~Shalom~

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

this was a heartfelt piece
letting the heart speak and I felt it.
Nice piece, filled with emotions.
You kept the flow flowing and that's just the way it's gotta be.
keep elevating
8/10

peace

not bad....
It was heartfelt, but I seen the ending coming
to soon....
Not that thats a bad thing....I didn't think you were
going to take this approach when i started reading
but good piece all the same