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Old 08-26-05, 02:59 PM   #1
2Fast2Furious
Light Weight
 
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Posts: 249
From: Bootheel Missouri
From His Point of View

IP:

There’s only so many sorries a mind can take
before a person falls down, stumbles and breaks.
It isn’t worth all the pain I’ve had, all the things
I’ve went through just to get a piece that’s mad.
Can’t understand the other side, just wanting
to get on a good tide.
Wonder at night is this really worth it, then in
the day I confirm it.
Still the things I put up with are insane, slanders
and her wanting me to change.
Little by little, I succumb to the wishes, little
by little I stop throwing switches.
Stuck in love, but can’t find a way out, this
is my story of how one man can’t shout.
Slowly falling and increasing in speed, never
going to tell you the things I need.
Physically enjoyable but mentally unstable,
I tell myself I’m willing and capable, but
some days like today its just too much for me
to handle.
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Old 08-26-05, 04:11 PM   #2
Dickard.
A Life Of Chryme
 
Posts: 5,019
From: Boston
IP:

wow, really emotional......felt this....ur vocab needs ta up...and ur structure.....an easy way out to make ur structure look iight is just center it.....lol and this had good concept 7.5/10...not bad......holla at my o/ms in tha sig
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Old 08-26-05, 04:20 PM   #3
2Fast2Furious
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Posts: 249
From: Bootheel Missouri
IP:

thanks man, uppin this
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Sig Provided by: Christianite

3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
No matter how good you are there's always someone better.
I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be.
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Old 08-28-05, 10:24 PM   #5
2Fast2Furious
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Posts: 249
From: Bootheel Missouri
IP:

__________________


Sig Provided by: Christianite

3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
No matter how good you are there's always someone better.
I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be.
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Old 08-28-05, 11:34 PM   #6
Christianite
Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
 
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Posts: 455
From: Bootheel of MO
IP:

this was good, but purely fiction, lol, emotion was good, flow was very good, structure is getting better, keep it up
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i come from a time when you earned respect,
for your rhyme and the way you made words connect,
not the money that you made or the girls you sexed,
a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet
Mars Ill
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