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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-28-05, 09:25 PM
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#1
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1926
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"Razorblade Romance"
IP: 3240 794D
Beauty In Life Can Only Be Achieved By Tasting A Death,
So I Kiss The Blade's Unforgiving Lips To Acquire Its Taste. Yet, When Does The Taste Classify As A Hunger? A Cutter, No... I Dance Reality For Embetterment. Or, Am I A Glutton? N- No Not Me, Never That. Im A Victim, Y- Yes, I'm Attacked. Grip The Razor Blade And Attempt To Fend It Off, But In This Struggle His Personality Rips At My Emotions. In Tears, He Breaks My Spirit... But He Doesn't Mean It. Honestly, He Loves Me! That's Why He Wishes To Help. "Im Sorry, Let Me Kiss It And Make It Better" I-, I Feel His Compassion, He's Is True. Like A Mother He Tends To My Emotional Wounds. As His Finger Rub Divinely Along My Wrist, He Cries. I Watch The Tears Poor Down His Face, And I Ask "Why?" My Lover Grins At Me As I Wipe Away His Tears, I Smile Vibrantly As I Know The Intention, Love. But Im Tired, So I Lift Him From Me As Again He Cries. I Wish So That I Could Please Him, But Im, Im So Tired. I Gazed At Him, His Teeth Salivating And A Metallic Stare. As He Overpowered Me, "STOP IT!" I Scream At Him To Stop Why Isn't He Listening!?! This Isn't Love Anymore, This Is Hate, This Is Lust. This Is- This Is Sin... As Innocence Hurls Itself. Kisses My Eyes Good-bye, But It Has No Other Choice. The Blade Tares Continuously At My Veins, Raping Away My Every Metaphysical Being. Its Not The Physical Pain, Its The Distrust, The Force. I Know Longer Know Him, He's A Stranger. As He Finishes, He Gives A Last Kiss Before I Fall, Faint And Pale I Stumble To The Mirror... Only To Find The Beauty In Death Lies Only In The Mind Of The Killer. *Smiles, Looking Over His Masterpiece* Last edited by Atticus : 08-30-05 at 03:53 PM. |
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08-29-05, 03:33 PM
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#2
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Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
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IP: 9457 B83E
wow this was really creative and nasty lol
ur vocab and imagery were really good i was feeling this props to atticus
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  O.Y.D. |
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08-29-05, 04:09 PM
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#3
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 82A5 4BFD
Oh dear god...
I absolutely LOVED this piece. How you described the whole cutting itself as a love, the blade as his lover and how you worded the development of their relationship was just brilliant! The vocabulary was so suited for this topic and how you worked it out. The emotion was so raw, so pure, so powerful, ... and then the vivid picture you were working with. The consciousness and depth of it all...I'm speechless! Whoa...
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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08-29-05, 04:31 PM
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#4
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L.E
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IP: DB16 D9CD
Gawd damn...this was some amazing shit.
I was feeling the whole story and everything man...imagery was nice...everything was good. Keep it up...word. |
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08-29-05, 05:02 PM
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#5
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pain is weakness leaving the body
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IP: F38C 26F8
a little too deep for me to fully comprehend........*smiles* ah well....... it was nice i guess. nice imagery, even thou i couldn't fully understand the metas......... keep it up playa.
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 "I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
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08-29-05, 05:39 PM
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#6
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hullabaloser
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IP: ECB3 36A0
Thats Reall Nice Man. Like, Deep Stuff.
And I agree with you Bein Emo. lol. You should spell check and grammer check before you post tho  Dope nonetheless.
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.The Council |
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08-30-05, 07:02 PM
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#7
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1926
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IP: 3240 794D
Woooooooooow, Thanks Alot Everyone
... Wasnt Expecting All The Love. Well, I Think I May Be Switching My Main Focus From Topicals To Poetry, So Ill Be Dropping In Here Alot More. Again, Thanks Alot For The Feedback .One. |
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08-30-05, 09:12 PM
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#8
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©
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IP: 68F3 D87D
like wow dawg im speechless my first time reading poetry on RV......and that was dope
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09-06-05, 04:30 PM
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#9
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Middle Weight
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IP: 8A05 210E
damn mayne i gotta say diz piece was mesmerizing..good structure..solid drop..very creative..imagery was on point duke..wow all i can say is keep writing word up & when i get anotha piece up i'll give u tha link 2 it ight
__________________
 Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me (Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me |
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