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05-11-03, 01:11 PM | #1 | |
Guest
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ne1 ever felt like this... (part 1)
IP:
beautiful portrait, true to be viewed as God's art,
lucid complexion, smooth a silk tha touch of her skin/ tha blood of her kin s'been blended w/ angels, bendin my mind, heart intwined w/ tha sight of her halo/ a soul seduction, her touchin my cold construction, no objections, blessin my thoughts w/ obssession/ obesinities, to divinty, for her tranquility, if I leave this very instant will she remember me?/ minutes to infinity, she replenished my meaning, hopin to meet her cuz her love exists in my sleep/ dreamin, time progression, sharin my affection, in sweatin up our sheets, 9 months born a seed/ my wants adore her needs, im king an shes queen, will she condone, comin to sit, atop my throne/ her eyes spoke w/ glitter an grace, her face lit, tha whole room, then nobody was there but us 2/ I must pursue but soon fear arose to my throat, sensin rejection, i'd never meet her need of profection/ to this day, i stil bleed cuz my dreams deffered, exit stage left of tha set and never breathed a word... |
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05-11-03, 02:40 PM | #2 | |
Guest
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IP:
in a way yes. it was good i liked it. im not gonna go into detail y but yes i can relate. good work.
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05-11-03, 02:41 PM | #3 | |
Guest
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IP:
thx for tha opinions uppin...
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05-11-03, 10:28 PM | #4 | |
Light Weight
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IP:
Nice job. I liked the way it was worded. Hard to explain. I just liked reading it. I have felt like that though, somewhat. I hope to read more of yours.
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05-11-03, 11:37 PM | #5 | |
..A New Breed of Femcee..
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IP:
OOh. I liked this a lot. Strong imagery and effortless flow made this a great piece. Very dreamy sort of vibe to it, nice capture of emotions also. I was most definately feelin it. My favorite lines were:
>tha blood of her kin s'been blended w/ angels, bendin my mind, heart intwined w/ tha sight of her halo/ and >obesinities, to divinty, for her tranquility, if I leave this very instant will she remember me?/ Nice writin Pro, ill keep an eye out for more from you. Pz. |
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