ur my best friend and u said u wanted to die
to all the nights u'd sit on the phone and cry
and me knowin how much needed to go to the sky
no one every could take ur place
i wish i was there i didn't know u were going really make it a case
i thought u were jokin, just havin fun
i didn't know u were sirous about the gun
now i know and i have nothin to do
besides sit around and think about u
next time i will know
that my friends come to me needing advice not for a show

__________________
So what chicks can rap too/
you just won't battle me cause i can beat u/

Respect List:
AKA (down, and keepin it real)
KoObOo (A true friend wouldn't be the right words)
The Disciple (mmmm Tight probbly wouldn't be the word) lol
Tony Montana (thiz my main boi for rapping)
Ciara Myst (hey if u cant beat em', join em')
phatom (he jus got skill)
LivenLegend ( thiz my friend for life)
fluidmoon (she got ova half ya'll beat)

aww, this was so sad,if its true then i'm sorry bout what happend to ya friend, but keep writing and lettin those feelings fly gurl, the only tips i have for you would be your structure and flow, try to match up the lines a bit, you know? make em more evened out and you'd be str8..........nice work tho keep at it.......1

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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*

This is real. Sorry bout your friend if this is a life experiance. I'd just polish up on how smoothly it flows, but thats just me, as some of it rolled real smooth, and then the end got somewhat choppy.

Its hard to give feed on an emotional poem like this cause I dont want to change it, im just sayin how it would read better. Do you, and good luck with writing.

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Yea it is true and i just want to thank u!

__________________
So what chicks can rap too/
you just won't battle me cause i can beat u/

Respect List:
AKA (down, and keepin it real)
KoObOo (A true friend wouldn't be the right words)
The Disciple (mmmm Tight probbly wouldn't be the word) lol
Tony Montana (thiz my main boi for rapping)
Ciara Myst (hey if u cant beat em', join em')
phatom (he jus got skill)
LivenLegend ( thiz my friend for life)
fluidmoon (she got ova half ya'll beat)

thats sad girl.... sorry about your loss too but sure even out your lines but its still good