RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 02-15-04, 01:45 PM   #1
Da Paradox
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
{{{{Battle Verse For Bitch ass Dynasty}}}}

IP: D4DA 8BD1

Never will beat me but i gotta say ya lie's had me] Push shells threw ya brain watch ya mind lay flatly~........//
It's sadly, Keep talkin and you'll face will be out ya ass and i'll make sure you Die-Nasty.....//[Dynasty]

The steam

Send you a goodbye hope you die? Well i can rip you apart piece by piece you decide~........//
Who's to lie? That i can demolish you quicker than you can post Reply~........//
Ya frame's glenchless? Kid don't won't the truthe so when i speak he get's affended~.........//
I end it? Cause how you gone think D when i got Half Of ya brain Missin~.........//
Got um writein slow cause i split hands? Can't manage to land so he rocked a wrist band~.........//
Ya missed man? Keep ya spit man cause ya rhymez to me won't even Hit-man~.........//[look under his name it says hitman]
My Last favor? Witch is ya verse what you forgot to put witch i will bash Lata~........//
Cause how you gone crash mager's? When you can't even afford an Avator~..........//
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-04, 02:04 PM   #2
SyaNidal
_-Lucky Rabbits Foot-_
 
SyaNidal's Avatar
 
Posts: 644
Joined: Nov 2003
From: PenNsyLvaNIa
Status: Offline
Text Record: 11-5
Audio Record: 0-1
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CF61 4449

whack... this was really horrible...
it had no wordplay what so ever...
horrible rhyme scheme... shitty multis,
and poor punchlines that sucked...
no metafors, You need to elevate
your battle rap ALOT...
this is a shitty battle verse...
__________________
_-Current Battles-_
SyaNidal \v/ Diverse
_-Open Mics-_
....Tragic..Death..I....

....Tragic..Death..II....


_-::.CorruptedVisionz.::-_
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-04, 02:12 PM   #3
Khôi NguJin
New to RB
 
Khôi NguJin's Avatar
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 11F0 89D4

you needa improve in masses dukes....

work on some wordplay...get somethin witty....you need approaching starts....

its just soooo wack with all that filler....hit me up sometime for some help or what not...
__________________
..Ghetto Essence..
Send a message via AIM to Khôi NguJin   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-04, 12:07 AM   #4
Menik
Word.
 
Menik's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,017
Joined: Aug 2003
From: Mifflinburg, PA
Status: Offline
IP: 43A7 3FE0

I agree you need to elevate a bit here man.....didnt really have good punchlines in this at all....work on your wordplay.....structure this up a bit better to, try to even the lines out a bit so it doesnt take away from the flow of your verse...but keep at it.
Send a message via AIM to Menik Send a message via MSN to Menik   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-04, 12:27 AM   #5
TiLLEyEDiE
PuRe AzN..
 
TiLLEyEDiE's Avatar
 
Posts: 373
Joined: Dec 2003
From: 727
Status: Offline
IP: 7716 E80A

weak attempt to dis us.. eh you pretty much suck..
too bad.. try better next time!
__________________
Nuff Said
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:33 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.