Never will beat me but i gotta say ya lie's had me] Push shells threw ya brain watch ya mind lay flatly~........//
It's sadly, Keep talkin and you'll face will be out ya ass and i'll make sure you Die-Nasty.....//[Dynasty]

The steam

Send you a goodbye hope you die? Well i can rip you apart piece by piece you decide~........//
Who's to lie? That i can demolish you quicker than you can post Reply~........//
Ya frame's glenchless? Kid don't won't the truthe so when i speak he get's affended~.........//
I end it? Cause how you gone think D when i got Half Of ya brain Missin~.........//
Got um writein slow cause i split hands? Can't manage to land so he rocked a wrist band~.........//
Ya missed man? Keep ya spit man cause ya rhymez to me won't even Hit-man~.........//[look under his name it says hitman]
My Last favor? Witch is ya verse what you forgot to put witch i will bash Lata~........//
Cause how you gone crash mager's? When you can't even afford an Avator~..........//

whack... this was really horrible...
it had no wordplay what so ever...
horrible rhyme scheme... shitty multis,
and poor punchlines that sucked...
no metafors, You need to elevate
your battle rap ALOT...
this is a shitty battle verse...

__________________

SyaNidal \v/ Diverse

....Tragic..Death..I....

....Tragic..Death..II....

you needa improve in masses dukes....

work on some wordplay...get somethin witty....you need approaching starts....

its just soooo wack with all that filler....hit me up sometime for some help or what not...

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..Ghetto Essence..

I agree you need to elevate a bit here man.....didnt really have good punchlines in this at all....work on your wordplay.....structure this up a bit better to, try to even the lines out a bit so it doesnt take away from the flow of your verse...but keep at it.