I thought of it last night; I was too restless to sleep.

I watch the page as my hand moves erratically/
My smooth vocabulary enables me to write lyrics that you construe emphatically/

What do you think?

1 bar? thats it? you gotta rite a little more than dat shit to get some feedbak cuz i cant really give u any cept you gotta work on keeping your lines the same size

^^^yepper, pretty much what he said.

in all honesty.....the bar is nice though. it shows that you got some writing potential. i liked your use of vocab and your multies were smooth. the only real pointer that i can shoot you off hand is that you need to work on your structure some. besides that, you did it. word. keep up the good work pimpin'.


s.v., c.s.

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Fletcher. I don't drive an Eclipse, they're chickmobiles.

QUESTION: Is it even possible to improve upon perfection???
ANSWER: CRHYME SINDICATE



"I remember this one time I thought I was wrong........but I was mistaken." -Unknown




R.I.P. Jonathan "ONE MAN BAND/TERUMOTO" Nigro. Goodbye brother. God bless the dead. One love.