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08-21-05, 02:04 AM | #1 | |||||||
New to RV
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--To WHome It May Concern--
IP: CC3C 0706
Evil..ONly word to discribe you...
Hatred..What shall be unleashed for your many lies... Distruction..Watch as your life crumbles.... Emotion?..None left in this drained shell... Pain?...Yes, forever you will have to bere it... Reasonning?...For the fools that take time to listen... Love?...You burned that along with my heart... Blood..What you will see within' my eyes as i cry... .....Letter...... ---To Whom it may concern---- You left me to rot, caring is what you offered at first..Yo said you loved me, but shot my knees on the battlefield of hate..You offered the enimie my soul, in exchange for something i never quit giving...You cared, at first..Then cowarded away when times became hell...Left to face the devil on my own, left to fend. ALone, cold, diserteded, firghtened....You tried for my salvation, until you were wounded in battle..Tears you shed turnned into dust as i witness hell's flame engulph you..But you? You enjoied it with the highest of content...Passion we shared, nothing but mere images, left broken like age to a castle...Crumbling, waitin to be saved...I am that castle, you are the caretaker, abandonning her shelter...Veins, my last passage to this hell we call life...THe blade, my key to unlocking god's barrier between me and the light...I, the keymaster, ready and willing to turn the key...Ready for the light.... Truly yours, Dot...... http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2380651 ^^^LINK |
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08-21-05, 01:49 PM | #2 | ||||
pain is weakness leaving the body
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IP: F38C 26F8
was feelin this piece. flow don't really apply to this piece. not that kinda poem. this iz a great piece bcuz of the emotion. not really how i write, so i can't give u that much as far as elevation. i just liked it enuff that i felt i had to give u some props. keep em comin playa.
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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
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08-21-05, 07:59 PM | #3 | |||
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IP: 2029 97B3
i really liked this poem..the introduction was tight..the poem i didnt even care about flow..i dont think that made a difference..the vocab was good and emotion was coming out the..yeah this was definitely good.
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