The clock stops and rewinds counter-clockwise...
Tear drops go back in his eyes my son stops cryin...
Bullets shoot out my chest I've cheated on my judgement day...
"What a lucky muthafucka mayne" is what they love to say....
The argument between me and him becomes vivid again...
See this is da reason why niggas is more bitches than friends....
DAMN.... fucked if she loved him he's busted da rubber...
Homie just smashed my boy and we suppose to be sisters....
Puffin a ciggarello wit my fellow from the other side.....
Comfortin my nigga he just found out his mother died....
"Aint that somethin" I said that in my sleep....
Dream of a biggie song as I'm wonderin "Whats beef"....
Any problems I'm a solve em til da death of me....
Like Nas sleep is the cousin of the def thats why I never sleep....
So I dream wit my eyes open EYES FOCUSED....
Watchin da ceiling fan rotate chillin while I wrote this....



*alarm clock goes off*



Now I realize it was all a dream of mine....
No beef my nigga's still on da same team as mine....
Da reason I'm so cautious thru yellow lights....
Maybe its because I'm trapped to da left and cant tell whats right....
Feels like its takin for years to face up my fears....
Tellin lies to bitches just to say its sincere.....
Sellin dreams? Yeah that make-up is clear....
Indian giver I give dreams to take what I give....
Just lost my Job yesterday searchin for better days....
Soon as I feel I found da one turns out she never stays...
So I forever blaze and never say I love a nigga...
Fuck a nigga I fuck a nigga just to say I fuck a nigga...
But yet I'm still feel da loneliness inside of me...
Ride or die for me? Who da fuck is gonna die for ME?!?!?!
I pictured my funeral...
I saw one person who loved me wit thousands of fakes... you know... da usual...
Just when you thought the love was there turns out its usin you...
Fake love wit real tears emotionally abusin you...
WHERES DA LOVE? I wonder that on a daily basis....
Dishin out dollar for dollar I guess you can say that made me face it...
Search for da one? My searchin is done....
I tried searchin for that bitch instead I searched for my gun....



*goes into closet*


More problems more issues the same ol shit....
Moms thinkin I'm a fuck-up this is pain? No shit....
Feelin like I'm lost on purpose purposely without a purpose...
Dialin 911 on da celly... too bad its outta service....
Suicide? Now its worth it cause I'm worthless...
Trapped inside depression outta my mind I'm another person....
Screamin HELP!! no one comes fuck it mines well load my gun...
Feelin like the energizer bunny... goin goin...GONE!



*The gun falls on Lil C's lap and the empty shell falls on the floor*



R.I.P Lil C

August 28, 1985 - January 19, 2006