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Old 07-05-08, 06:37 PM   #1
"Feliciano"
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Mr. Lavish vs "Feliciano"

IP: 4CEF D3C0

Battle Rules:

6 - 5Bars
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 07-08-08 at 06:37 PM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.


This Battle Is Now Closed

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Old 07-05-08, 06:37 PM   #2
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"Feliciano" has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-05-08 06:37 PM.
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Old 07-05-08, 06:38 PM   #3
"Feliciano"
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~Gambling~

Take A "Roll" On Your Life;You Lose It,That's What You
Get For Playing With "Cheap Dice"
I Cut Your "Throat Open",And Pack It With Dry
Ice,Hollow Your Insides,Pack Shit In There Like A
"Storage Device"

Your New Meaning Is A "SanDisk",Save My Spits To
You,Just By Clicking A Button
You "Eat" Verses Up Like Nothing;It Don't Fase You,Like
A Fat Ass Pig Obsessed With "Glutton"

We "Ain't" In The War Together;I've "Betrayed",With
Ak's Rapidly Shooting
Your Like A Butt "Pirate",Always "Looting",Looking For
More SexParteners;Your Recruiting

It's "Feliciano" One Of The "Luckest" Emcee's,Test My
Luck;I'm Like A "Four-Leaf Clover"
I Am A "Vulcher" An Your My Prey;Picking Eyes Out,An
Hear You Scream,There's No Way To "Glance Over"

Your Gonna Under-Estimate Your Opponent,I'm Like "John
Cena";An You Can't "See Me"
Your Over My Shoulder,Ready For The FU,Smash Your Face
Open;Blood Everywhere,Like A "Killing Spree Emcee"

~No More Money~
~Keep Same Length~
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Old 07-05-08, 10:12 PM   #4
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Mr. Lavish has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-05-08 10:12 PM.
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Old 07-05-08, 10:24 PM   #5
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Set up a battle without my permission I'ma have you wishin you pre-checked
Show you how to "reallign your vision" teachin you "re-spect"

This kid thinkin he hard must be grippin on Q's cock
Treat this battle like Britney Spears hair, rippin him off top

Told you hop off my nuts you opened your lips up
I'm facin "Felatio" this ain't a battle I'm gettin my dick sucked

Unlike with your mom, no need to go all night with you
Don't need "6-5 Bars" I'll just let Aphilly and Kirk all cyber you

Whored, Battle for pinks if you accept this

I told him I didn't wana battle his newb self till he got some wins so what does he do? Sets up a battle without my permission. ROFL at how many bars he wanted to go in the "RULES"
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Old 07-06-08, 02:58 AM   #6
Ysdat
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Voted For: "Feliciano"

You win, based on punches and tighter verse, your drop hitsharder than your opponents. Yu have a couple ok punches, were as your opponent has none. Your structure and flow is off and stretched in places, but thats a mnor.

lavish.

I think you took this kid for face value and have been bluffed by thinking he was a 'wack newb'. You seemingly didnt try at all.
Also I think you were a bit hard done by witht he 'bars' rule. I would of caught him for the breaking the rules, but were not that petty are we?

ok battle.
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Old 07-06-08, 04:08 AM   #7
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Soul I really thought you could read. No punches? Take a look at my scond line in the first bar if you don't understand don't vote simple. Spect=Spectacles like glasses. That kids punches were so basic it was sad.

"I fill you up with stuff now your a storage device"

"I'll peck you like a voulcher"

"I'm john cena you cant see me"

Self glorified himself.

Hyped me up by saying i eat verses.

opener was played and not a punch

closer wasn't a punch

used "" in unnecessary places

no personal lines coulda been a pre written

stretched as hell

structure was fucked

spelling was bad

And you failed to see it all. Funny since you were the guy who got called into a battle you didn't accept thought you'd have some input on that.
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Old 07-06-08, 01:21 PM   #8
Ysdat
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lol. Yeh his verse is wack, but its better than yours.

chill, you lost.
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Old 07-06-08, 07:53 PM   #9
"Feliciano"
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I'm Better The You Guys Thought Eh??
I Didn't Even Try AnyBody Wanna Battle At My Full Skill Level
Just Hit Me Up With A Private Message.
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Old 07-08-08, 09:13 AM   #10
SUPERVILLAIN
~SAINT SINNER~
 
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Voted For: Mr. Lavish

vote: lav.

fel...

your verse was pretty basic. no hate, but i wasn't too impressed my man. when you're starting off your text battling career, you should try to test the waters with battlecats that are in the same early stages of texting as you (check 'yung medikated' out). it makes for fair practice. as far as writing techniques that will help you elevate, try looking into: punchlines, metaphors, personals, multies, vocab, and most definately tighten up your structure. it's not the worst that i have ever seen, but it is kind of annoying in the long run. balance it out homie. also, drop the self glorifying lines and the filler needs to be tossed out as well. they both can severely hurt your drop in a battle. make every bar deadly. go after your target non-stop...don't ever give them a chance to fire off by not properly utilizing your time against them. on a positive note though, i do see some potential in you. don't get down on yourself if you happen to lose this match up. it happens to the best of us. there are a lot of other newbs around here with a lot less to offer the front lines than you do, so pat yourself on the back. word. take what i said into consideration...and i know that you'll eventually step your game up through hard work and practice. handle yours.

lav...

you should take the victory easily. you had a pretty decent drop overall...but i felt that you held back a bit. i am assuming that it was because little homie was a rookie...but whatever. you did what you needed to do. word. just make sure in future battles that you never underestimate your opponent. some extra advice to you: try throwing a few random multies in when you can (it accentuates a piece) and expand your vocabulary a tad. also, it's not too bad, but try to tighten up your structure a little as well. it gives off a more technical, crisp presence. other than that, nice job playboy. oh yeah...by the way, i liked your closer...shit was pretty funny.

all in all, keep up the good work gentlemen. let's keep the front lines active. good day...i wish you both the best.

one...


...the super, c.s. life
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Old 07-08-08, 10:25 AM   #11
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Voted For: "Feliciano"

i must say this was a ez win...

more creativeness then the other dudes..
harder punches...
good flow...

your opener was probley better then half hes verse off jump i thought the other dude mr.L could of done better nice battle..

respect and good luck to both
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Old 07-08-08, 04:09 PM   #12
Speats
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This was feedback posted for Mr. Lavish

IP: 77C5 E2C6

checkin the polls.................................
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Old 07-08-08, 04:37 PM   #13
Nitrogen
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This was feedback posted for "Feliciano"

IP: E9A6 7493

first how in the hell could the line limit be 6-5 bars andsecond, you garbage, enough said. i really just wannaa be able to see what anyone else said so im posting feedback for this purpose only. good verse though Lavish wit the limited space he provided
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Old 07-08-08, 05:47 PM   #14
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Thanks for the feed Nitro wish you woulda voted oh well. and dutch your still a newb
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Old 07-08-08, 06:05 PM   #15
Nitrogen
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lmao i had a memory lapse and for some reason i thought u was CS so i only left feed. oh well
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