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http://wwww.community.rapverse.com/...ad.php?t=241594
http://wwww.community.rapverse.com/...ad.php?t=240951

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ive actually fed this peice at rb man....once again the short lines slowed down the process of the emotion a bit but no biggie, the imagery was good as usual, the vocab basic/decent in my eyes, the metaphore's that were rarely but surely used in this was tasty the topic/concept was cool and made for and exciting and certainly interesting read dude, still room for improvement man....but your elevating greatly with every peice keep it up family looking forward to viewing more pieces

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word man i want my RV legend spot.

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i agree with valor about the shortness of your lines, but it was worth reading... a bit depressing tho... a really played topic, but your piece was original enough not to be another one of those pieces i read half of then look elsewhere... nice piece playa, keep writing...

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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled

I disagree with both of you, the lines actually made it alot better, if the lines had been 'long' it would have ruined the flow, thus destroying the overall enjoyment of the piece, yet his lines were in place and made in impact. I seriously don't know who valor is on RB, but seriously, whoever you are, you don't know anything about poetry... you're concept of poetry is that of a ignorant fool. step your game up man.

Good looking write

He is Kaotic Theory

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-CS- -
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5x PS HOF
2004 Poet of the year
3X writer of the month

thanks poeta.


muc love...and appreciation/

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ya I liked the short Lines to. It had good thought into it good imagery and I liked the flow,and I agree with poeta if this paticular poem had long lines it would of completeley killed the flow i liked the whole concept but ya Valor is on RB but idk how he wrights lol hit my new piece up The Good Die Young...Nice peice though bruh...

Dope piece write..

Even tho i'm not a very big fan of Poetry, more of an Topical type of person, but i liked this..It had alot of energy, and i liked the short lines, instead of stretched out lines..I didn't really know that you did Poetry, i thought you just did topical, but as much as an vet you are of Topical, Text, Poetry, This was pretty good, Keep writing dude.

-Bez

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keep your secrets in the closet.

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lmfao


thanks for all the feed guys

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This is cool lol i likeed it all u dudes in here was makin me laugh haha but i like it mr. white!

i like it...
its good long

I like it its worded well and helps the reader feel the emotions. it really dont matter abought the length of the bars in my opinion its a good poem so it would have workd with longer lines as well

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breaking up with women is alot like golf. you start out by putting on some goofy cloths. then by the end you wonder if youll ever find your balls again