Aiight, this is it.
Pre-release version of my 10 deadly venoms track. 170 bars straight, no punch-ins, no fix-ups, etc etc..

www.soundclick.com/nostradamus1

Recorded with my shitty home set-up, fuck quality whores that got something to say about that.. It is a condenser and pre-amp, but I've only just started using it, so it aint studio quality by any means... Any tips would be greatly apreciated..

A point thats being brought up about my delivery that I thought I should address also, is that when you are rapping 170 bars without stopping, you end up with shitloads of spit hocked up in your mouth, so if it seems like it gets a bit sloppy.. Its cause I basically practiced it 5 or 6 times then rapped it straight up.. And yes, my throat was hurting...

So dont go too harsh on delivery while ya critequing this shit.. And also remember this is the first time I've done a track thats 100+ bars, so I aint canibus or nothing.... But yeah.. Thats all.

I will be doing my proper version in a week or so closer to the cd release.. And by then I will have had a lot more time to practice.

The beat line up is as follows:

1) Eminem - Role Model
2) Nas - Street Dreams
3) Canibus - Get Retarded
4) Tupac - Thugz Mansion
5) Wutang - C.R.E.A.M.
6) Dr. Dre - Fuck You
7) Jedi Mind Tricks - Saviorself
8) De La Soul - Trouble in the water
9) Necro - No Tomorrow
10) Talib Kweli - Get by

Enjoy--

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=215985
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=215798

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RIP jono, peace out bboy.
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1st of all...WTF @ u startin to sound like Enygma with an accent...hmmm

u used to sound like PAC...

2nd off...I imagine the beat changes are good...BUt, I just remember sittin here thinkin, "How long am I gonna have to sit through this"...sorta like being in class


3rd of all...I like that 3rd beat...I'd FUCK IT UP royally


As to your flow...It's a nice flow...but ur Delivery is monotonous for the most part


Also...I have NO IDEA what u were sayin in a couple spots cuz my attention span kept waning

I like when it switched to the 4th or 5th beat and ur flow started soundin TUpac-ish again... I liked that lil part


Ur have some pretty nice rhyming...but it's rather predictable...That's not a bad thing...Im saying ur consistent with ur scheme...However, to hold someone's like MY attention, you have to throw curves in there, which you didn't do much of


**MOST kids on RV can't listen to a 2 minute track without staring off into space...So, ur track will not be appreciated fully in that sense


..............I know that I can write 170 bars, but my voice would literally go HOARSE after the 80th bar


So, for that I applaud you...good job


AFter about 5 minutes of listening to this track...It grows weary on u cuz ur delivery is the same after the Tupac-break


ur flow is def. nice though...


As for mic presence...it's decent...but, u shud seriously consider dubbing ur voice...it'll bring out ur voice more...and I cud hear some of the "noise redux" or processing in ur vocals early on...That's probably due to a lack of production...it wasn't bad, but noticeable


I hope you appreciate me listening to this long ass track...I'm typing as I listen


I love the GET BY beat, BTW


You have nice lines here and there...But, I'd probably notice more if your delivery could hold my attention better


and game spit 300???? LAWD HAVE MERCY


this is a valiant effort that could have been classic with
A) Better Production
B) Better delivery


nice though



1


RTF bitch or I will cut ur DICK OFF!
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=216041

haha.,..j/P




I'll CHOP IT!

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Youtube Video for my song "CARRY ON"

I'll be dubbing it for the cd version.. (It says pre-release in my post)

But yeah thanks... I might even end up re-doing this for the actual cd in a week or so.. By then I will of practiced it a lot more and do a better job.. But cats wanted to hear some shit so I threw this together early...

__________________
RIP jono, peace out bboy.
Pardon Canada Criminal Record Pardons Services Toronto

^^^I imagine this trumps 7/3s 80 bar thing

which means SOMEONE has to come with 200 BARS



muhahahahaaa


U upped the ANTE, so to speak


u sexy Australian BITCH!

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Youtube Video for my song "CARRY ON"

200 Bars will be for my first professional album after I get on a contract......

__________________
RIP jono, peace out bboy.
Pardon Canada Criminal Record Pardons Services Toronto

im kinda with q on this, with all the talk u was chattin bout ur skill i was expecting alot better, a few times u sounded like u struggled for breath slightly aswell, and im sure a couple times u sounded like u hesitated n sounded un-sure about the next line, n that made ur flow seem abit sketchy at times, but it was mostly flowin well, but yeah delivery is VERY boring, lyrics are ok, u have the rhyme scheme instead of wat most these kids do n rhyme the end of the lines n thats about it, but ur flow didnt seem to switch up that much, especially for a track like this, u need to keep it changin as much as possible, i was expectin this to be alot better cos of how u hyped this and urself up, but i was also expectin worse, if that makes sense, thats cos i thought u was one of them kids who does jack but chat shit, so i was pleasantly surprised, ur decent but not as big as u claim.

my advice would be re-record it, try switch ur lines up abit to change ur flow up alot more, add more variation to your delivery, ur prsence is good, but delivery is boring, erm also there are the odd spots here n there that sound rushed, so maybe try listen to it and pick out the lines/phrases that sound rushed... but over-all for a rough a version its good, if this was final product id be pretty dissapointed

Yeah, I aint practiced it enough.. And I was going off memory for the lyrics.. It aint exactly easy remembering 170 bars dude.. But next week I'll be re-doing the final version for my cd. So I'll def be putting up a better effort for that.

__________________
RIP jono, peace out bboy.
Pardon Canada Criminal Record Pardons Services Toronto

cool, didnt kno u memorised them, if u dnt feel u have them fully nailed down to put 100% in, keep the paper infront of u literally just skim it as ur spittin ur verse, ud be surprised at how much it helps on perfectin, os ur not actually readin, ur just glancin at the odd word here n there and it jogs ur memory, thats what i find anyway

I put it down to lazyness..
I still have a bit of writing to do on the rest of the cd.. This is just what I put together for a pre-release version cause most the rest of the tracks need hooks and shit...

Cats wanted to hear me drop something.. So here it is.
I actually dont think it turned out as bad as you were making out.. Near the end, if youve ever tried spitting for that long without stopping.. You get big spit balls hocked up blocking your throat, thats probably what you were talking about with the delivery problems...

Try it yourself, I bet you'll have the same problems.

__________________
RIP jono, peace out bboy.
Pardon Canada Criminal Record Pardons Services Toronto

interesting...i was thinkin about this...even if NOS varies the delivery on this track, even THAT will become monotonous...iz like no track is supposed to be that long without breaks...it's like a song with no hook



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Youtube Video for my song "CARRY ON"

Triple N said I should do a bridge at one or two points back while I was still writing this.. Which I still might be doing, but cats will have to wait till the CD is done to see what new shit I do to this track.

__________________
RIP jono, peace out bboy.
Pardon Canada Criminal Record Pardons Services Toronto

I agree with Triple for the sake of Musicality


but yo...my hat off to ya...when I tried to flow 80 bars straight, I got cotton mouth and almost choked to death

lol...then I put somethin in my mouth to keep it watery...

Wait...dat sounds.....NVM


anyway....if I ever attempt this, I'll have a MEDIC on stand by


P.S. I developed the concept for my Back 2 da future track...the producer of the beat said, "NIGGA U CRAZY...U AINT MAKIN A MOVIE"
haaaaaa


peace bitch

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Youtube Video for my song "CARRY ON"

LOL
Yeah, I get that.. Its real tricky to keep yaself from fucking up cause of all the spit in ya mouth.. But I got pretty good at cause I honestly rapped this 7 times to practice the lyrics so I could do it without them infront of me..

Cause their on my comp, and I like to be standing up while I record so I cant keep scrolling down the screen while I'm rapping -_-

__________________
RIP jono, peace out bboy.
Pardon Canada Criminal Record Pardons Services Toronto

^^print Them Out






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Youtube Video for my song "CARRY ON"