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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-29-05, 02:57 PM
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#2
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 82A5 4BFD
Checkity Check Check...
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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08-29-05, 03:20 PM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: 641D 2876
Check, feeling the topic
good luck ma |
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08-31-05, 06:06 AM
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#4
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C51C 99F7
Heaven To Hell Let me tell you this saddening story of a fragile little girl Blond hair with a curl, so angelic, safely put in the world Parental protection like she is still in her mother's womb Who knew her doom would be a lack of breathing room? Why was it so hard to bear when all they did was care? Why whine while kids starving out there: life is never fair Her family did come close to perfection from the outside But how would you feel: hands tied, your identity denied Can you imagine being born with already chosen routes? And trying anything different is as tasting forbidden fruits Held so close by her own folk she was bound to choke Or invoke coke for she's scared of hatred a heart spoke Locked in golden cage full of rage combined with fright Until on one starlit night, she decided to fight forthright She embarked on treacherous travel to become whole For once she was in control and no longer playing role But she could not handle being free to this high degree She was encased in debris, continuing her sinful spree Beautiful angel with broken wings: Lucifer she adheres As such a raw revenge for many years she shed tears Doing dirt on the road, following a dim dangerous code But when innocent blood flowed, her emotions showed Eyes told her soul to reveal she knows she was wrong So she travels along, searching wherever she’ll belong She crawled out her shell and bid the little girl farewell For what is one person’s heaven is another one’s hell
__________________
Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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09-02-05, 11:11 AM
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#5
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New to RV
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IP: 641D 2876
excuse the wait, I'll edit this post with my verse when I get a little free time today. Just incase you thought I would "no-show".
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09-02-05, 04:00 PM
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#6
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New to RV
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IP: 641D 2876
I'm about to do a alter-ego scenario
[Keysha] I remember when we would drink the days away// sit out on the stoops of the Nolia and soakin in the sunrays// escaping the harsh ways of the hood where the hoodlums clash// with a heavily weeded birthday bash where niggas trying to touch the ass// not thinking about the days of a life gone past// or how this good life I'm living shall come to a sudden crash// I remember Katrina being a good friend of mines// until she was shot down by a drunk nigga toting 2 nines// I remember how she was always told "Damn, you fine!"// shorty was nice she brought a voice to a mime// lived on the dusty blocks of Chopper City, waitin on time// graduating Southern in the year of Nineteen Ninety-Nine// but niggas got arguing cause they drunk off that wine// and she just left my house I can still press rewind// Irish Rose induced dude to produce the chrome piece// Now my homie Katrina has a tombstone that reads Rest In Peace// [Hellkat] Her ressurrection has left more than a 180 deceased// cant eat or drink cause of the water has left alot diseased// Strugglin thru water neck high and I'm just 5'5// can feel the sting in my eyes and I swear I feel like I just wanna die// I cant cry cause my anger left me asking questions like "Why?"// "You must evacuate" but I couldn't, so now what's my fate// over here wishing I had a way to avoid this horrible date// reminiscin about the days when the wind was howling and whistlin// and in the aftermath my baby brother came up missin// now you got my people on CNN beggin but Bush isn't listening// I'm hungry and my baby is restless cause she done missed her breakfast// just seen a nigga get murdered cause of a gold necklace// uncle got arrested for looting, what you expect shit// for us to sit back and just wait for the militia to help us// 5 days and you mothafuckas aint even thought about us// Thousands upon thousands sittin here waiting on them buses// and more still stuck on top of tattered roofs, listen to the rukus// cause we feelin as though the government has said "fuck us"// weary from the hot and humid days it's hard tryin to stay focus// All because of 1 bitch, Mother nature is truly ruthless, damn I feel so hopeless// If you can, help those victims of Katrina |
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09-03-05, 09:06 AM
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#7
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 0248 2A71
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206592
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206590 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206589
__________________
Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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09-03-05, 09:52 AM
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#8
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Skadoosh!
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IP: 9DB1 64D6
not bad........
drama queen prolly has the most flawless structure in this drop i have ever seen, the flow was spot on all the way through. you delivered a nice piece right here, gud imagery as always and you beefed it up with some tight vocabs dropping them consistently. i seen this topic before and i've seen drama queens approach before, still it was delivered nicely and there was good emotion in the piece, overall the only downside is that the approach itself has been done before. keysha, took an original approach to it, something i aint seen but the structure was too text like and the flow was not consistent enough, it got choppy in places. i think that your piece lacked the kind of emotion that DQ's did and that really ruined it, the imagery was there but nothing overly good. some nice vocabs in places but the real main fault with your piece is it wasn't consistent enough. V/ - Drama Queen.
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09-03-05, 02:35 PM
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#9
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Given Light
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IP: 1768 36E3
Vote/ Queen. More imagery, better vocab. Can I get a "Wtf" with that structure? Damn girl, theres good structure, but that's just crazy. Flowed pretty good, some of the rhyming seemed a little forced. You had some complexity within your rhyming which was nice. Props.
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09-04-05, 12:47 AM
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#10
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GG Haterz
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IP: 8DB8 BE0A
DQ: Wow at the structure, it's kinda scary. Your verse was ok, nothing wow worthy, but ok. Imagery was good but the emotion was lacking. Wasn't really feeling it your words. The concept was somewhat original, but not an amazing twist. Kept me reading though, vocab was balanced well.
KH: Get rid of the // first of all. Those are really annoying, now your verse. Flow was choppy in some parts, and just totally off in others. Your vocab was aight, it fit the verse well so props on that. I was waiting for someone to write bout Katrina, but original take. Just work on wording your ideas and concepts. v- DQ
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For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me  ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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09-04-05, 10:50 AM
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#11
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Just searching.
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IP: 3240 794D
3-0 KO...Drama Queen advances, and looks like a skater.
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