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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-14-05, 08:11 PM
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#1
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The Epitome Of Greatness
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Valor Vs. Mista_Authentik
IP: 0825 899A
Rules:
Battles Go Up Friday Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time 20 Lines Minimum 40 Lines Maximum No Biting No Recycling Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week Topic : Living Suicide
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion  |
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01-14-05, 10:57 PM
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#2
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
im in..........
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Crhyme Sindicate
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01-15-05, 02:19 AM
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#3
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I walk & walk over you
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IP: 4440 0397
Flow spell my name right or die bitch.....................check..............
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.:* Crhyme Sindicate* :.
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01-16-05, 10:23 PM
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#4
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
Feeling Suicidal
THE LETTER Feeling light headed, and a certain amount of stress my girlfriend died in a car accident, lifes a fucking mess i told her not to go, the store was already closed but no, she insisted to get food, so our children can grow now IM all alone, this world is a polluted war zone IM now a homeless human, i lost my own home i cannot take this, my heart has now a gaping hole with many pieces missing, including pieces from my soul so mother and father, IM writing you this note to let you know, that i have now lost hope i cannot cope, life holds nothing to me important IM saddened to inform you, that my life has had a sore end ......*(whispers) goodbye and i love you both* The Sore Ending i now lay on thy sofa, with a gun sitting on thy table one bullet in it, but IM hesitant not sure if im able to do it, but i have to, as i shed a tear i cannot live life lonesome, or in fear i pick up my pistol, and put it against my brain *pulls the trigger*.........goodbye life just wouldn't be the same
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Crhyme Sindicate
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01-17-05, 02:50 PM
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#5
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New to RV
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IP: 42E8 5523
loving the two parts man, 1sr verse rocks, have to see wot Mista drops b4 i vote though
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01-17-05, 10:28 PM
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#6
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I walk & walk over you
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IP: 74E5 94D8
shout out to my nigga darrell. He' is deaf, but that kid got some fucking dope skillz on writings fam. This about him and his life. Living suicide aka hell Everyday its an joke to me, no literally, I have disability needs Everyone laughs at me, just wish I wasn’t born to even breathe I go home everyday holding onto the gat, I want to kill them Break there fingers so they wont point no more, I’m sick of em I cry everyday, my tears flow, but don’t reach to the ground my life is so cold, they freeze onto my cheeks, I stay with a frown Like an microphone cord around my neck, I cant speak clearly Plus I’m deaf, I cant hear nothing, so everyday I’m lonely Living middle of no where, to me I call this tears rain, mayne Cause I don’t show my tears, like a wound onto an tight bandage Even though I’m deaf, I don’t hear laughter, I read faces Like an physic. Like chess, I want to put them in there place Memory of the laughter never goes away, like in-side jokes The pointing, like an sharp finger nail, they’d ripped my soul I feel like I’m in the 1960’s when black vs. white was on I’m treated differently but in a hurtful way, they call me shrek But I thought every nigga be loved, me no, so my v will never brek My mother made an mistake to have me on this earth, man it hurts I want to move away, like a balloon, everyday my heart bursts *guns to the head* Why was I born, I don’t want lungs, I don’t want to breathe on this earth I’m gonna going to kill myself now, so no longer I will suffer, on this surface
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.:* Crhyme Sindicate* :.
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01-17-05, 10:35 PM
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#7
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Knock out kings fur life
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IP: 58B5 0751
I felt mista more on this one he had more feelings on this one and he had a better wordplay better strucutre and it just flowed with me better.
so over all mista gets this one vt/mista and check up on my topical my op did not show up peace |
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01-18-05, 02:05 AM
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#8
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
man ur wack u should critique both drops when u vote fuck head....
but nice drop MA 
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Crhyme Sindicate
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01-18-05, 08:45 PM
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#9
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Life is a Constant Battle
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v/ valor
IP: 95BF 9BC7
im sorry but i gotta disagree with ya i go with valor. I liked how his flowed together, had good structure, and stayed good with the topic. I do like how mista had alot of personality and visual on his story like he was going thew it. Valor also had this...Mista was great on his word play ill say but what killed him in this battle was the flow and structure...i got lost and found it difficult to catch rhythm after the microphone around neck line...if you need more critique let me know otherwise i vote
v/ Valor
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B.Wall   O.G. 
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01-18-05, 09:38 PM
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#10
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The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 3240 794D
Valor-
dope piece.. imagery was good.. story-line was good.. emotion was definately there.. probablt the best aspect of your verse.. decent imagery and structure... but overall dope piece overall : 9/10 Mista_Auth3ntik: you had a good verse too.. the emotion was perfect.. some lines didnt rhyme well though and the imagery wasnt too well it could have been better that was the biggest problem with your verse.. you didnt get descriptive enough overall : 7/10 vote: valor
__________________
RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion |
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01-19-05, 12:17 AM
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#11
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New to RV
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IP: 42E8 5523
valour:
like the rhymin, show a lot of thought went into it, also like the beginning and end style mista: loving this shit man, only a few letdowns with some of the rhymes, kinda sounds more poetic then verse. vote: valour cos of the freeflow rhymes |
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01-19-05, 07:29 AM
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#12
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C147 07A7
Valor
Emotion was definately there, storyline was predictable but it's a hard topic to write very creative. Vocab could've been a little better maybe but it was good though. Imagery was nice too, structure n flow were okay...Overall a solid drop, nothing too amazing in my opinion though, just very solid good job... MiSta_AuTh3nTiQ Emotion was very raw, got me thinking here and there about some things...Vocab was really good, found tight balance between complex and basic. I thought you could've used some more indepth imagery though and wasn't always feeling your flow. Structure was decent, your approach of the topic was bit more creative...personal too... I vote for MiSta_AuTh3nTiQ...
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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01-19-05, 03:56 PM
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#13
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IP: D5FE 7245
ok this was pretty close in my opinion...
flow-valor, had shorter lines and a better syllable count a lot of mystas lines were stretched and didnt flow well... imagery-mista_authentik, valors verse barely had imagery in my opinion...he didnt have enough to let the reader see what was going on he just kind of said what happened as if it was word for word it didnt have descriptive words the only ones i thought would be the thy table bar in the second part of valors verse but thats it...mysta had a lot of different parts where he said certain colors and actions that let you see what was happening more... emotion-mista_authentik, this was a close aspect both had good emotion but mistas was more creative...i wouldve never thought he was going to do it on a deaf person...it felt like valors verse was a little played with my wife is dead kind of thing i heard it too many times mistas emotion was brought out better in a more descriptive way... beginning/end-tie, thought both had ok to pretty good beginnings but both endings i didnt like at all...whether they were descriptive or not the whole concept of "shooting yourself suicide" is played...i admit i did it and still do it on a couple of pieces but i really dont like to do it, its the easy way out and its not imaginative so i didnt like the endings... good verses from both though no hate at all but im gonna vote Mista_Authentik good luck peace
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line "I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus |
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01-19-05, 11:41 PM
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#14
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I walk & walk over you
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IP: FC12 8EE2
Its 3-3 Tie Now, Nice Drop Valor, Wun. ............
__________________
.:* Crhyme Sindicate* :.
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01-20-05, 05:02 PM
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#15
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Light Weight
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IP: 6FA7 7304
vote/ Mista
flow - Tie : Mista had some lines that didn't quite rhyme and that hurt the flow a little bit, but then Valor switched some lines up to make them rhyme at the end, which actually hurt the flow. pretty good from both though. Imagery - Mista : Valor would have taken it, if his entire piece was like the ending, I was picturing myself contemplating life or death with the gun on the table. But Mista had decent imagery all the way through. Emotion - Mista : Really felt alot from Mista on this one, just all the shit this kid is going through, and it really got to me. Valor didn't really strike me with much emotion. Beginning/End - Tie: Both were decent, but like final said, the gun thing is used alot. *just a little note, Lyric and I had this topic on RB, and he was really good with the topic, and wrote about Smoking, which is killing him but he's still living...ie Living Sucide |
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