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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-16-04, 09:27 AM
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#1
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Guest
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Eye Care
IP: 65E8 9804
Earth was the beautiful place for everything...
...although nothing was in its place... Constructed construction worker, just one in the working masses green vest with the blue collar, now- unhatched bird of passage The thirst to manage perished, left with this dehydrated memory lost the will to see right and willed on the wont's of dependency Broken the pennate dream, not even heaven believed in perfection even the littlest promised land was there to intrigue my attention Now I question rhetorics for the answer why I miss all passers by and can't fully express my new found affection for land and sky Earths fandom died, the vigilant all illiterate to the life signs red and white the writers dialect of tedious trite, the Wine's dry And hindsight is the shed light basked upon last rite situations however bright- utterly meaningless, and my emotion's in abrasion This is how I focus daily, stabbed in the back by my focal point days spent as a waste to my optimistic search for the hopeful noint Used to read feelings from the face of her, now fabled like Aesop if only lost trace could talk and reveal the enormity of rasied dots As torment seeks its grace spot in the perception took for granted took to this new water slanted, so Satan, just hook this damned fish Desire exists you can see it in my eyes, there-in lies the problem wearing no goggles and overall lunacy, and here I hide unconscious I'm tired of confidence, coaxing my optics, now- sleeping partners I have this dream- I'm the 3rd inhabitant of Edan....weeding gardens Grieving sharpens, illusionary laughing till all's regarded as a prick melodramatic about burning my essence and angst carving at the wick Sparking match that lit my surroundings, but all that surrounds me is the accumulated eclipse of my civilization as the town sleeps My head is pounding- constantly, all I want, to turn in eternally worse is how I certainly don't deter this greif that determines me terminally First to the heat, future is now, but for me there's no hope there time to quest for strife or death, so there's no reason why I don't care!! ...But I want to die...because dying is the most helpful form of release... What seems more scenic.... ....this divine scheme of landscape brilliance.. ...or this indignant mind playing ménage to these demons?! |
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02-16-04, 09:45 AM
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#2
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Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
I didn`t tell you on RV yet, cuz I haven't checked the battle(But now I know you seriously won) Very dope verse. I loved the way you approached the topic, more abstract than I would have expected. The eding was definately my favorite part, a nice way to finish a great piece. Props on winning the battle..
__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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02-16-04, 04:18 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: 24A3 0EF0
sadly slept on... (like my stuff ..heh)
again great use of english language utilised thruout the piece not quite as abstract as some of your previous stuff but seemed to find a medium worked well.. 'This is how I focus daily, stabbed in the back by my focal point ^fukin ill 'I'm tired of confidence, coaxing my optics, now- sleeping partners I have this dream- I'm the 3rd inhabitant of Edan....weeding gardens ^as above have to say the opening lines reeled me in..but in fact the whole verse was opening lines delight to read and the ending capped it off with a finishing touch of quality really liked the way you rhyme words and dont look for that easy option if you comprehend eg wife/life type shit wont be found in your text which can only be a good sign |
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02-16-04, 06:26 PM
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#4
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 6236 079F
^It is pretty sad that stuff like this get slept on...Once again..and again....and again...you have amazed me...I said this before..and I will say it again{I'm sure I'll say it again in your next piece}...*Stamps* Legendary...{I envy you^^}
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02-16-04, 06:33 PM
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#5
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Suspended Suspense
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IP: EC0B 84C7
wow. I think this is the first piece of yours I have actually buckled down and read, and it was well worth the read. Your perception on the topic, though as said above, abstract, shined through your words in every line. your flow was on point throughout. Beautiful, just beautiful.
if you could hit up my piece in my sig, I would appreciate it. |
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02-17-04, 12:31 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
Thanks Accelerate...your verse was dope as well though =)
Appreciate all the feedback  |
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02-17-04, 12:44 PM
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#7
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New to RB
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IP: 6680 C394
sup yo its ya boy,east side yo how do u get to battle
__________________
im here to change the world and thats it come into my world. this is my page  [IMG]<img src="http://mi.mgcdn.us/hoboken21/htiscalinigga.JPG" align="center">[/IMG] |
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02-17-04, 01:26 PM
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#8
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peace
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IP: DF7B C8F7
yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo
yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo |
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02-17-04, 01:34 PM
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#9
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
lol
How rood?! |
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02-17-04, 11:19 PM
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#10
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
Darn it
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02-17-04, 11:30 PM
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#11
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Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
hey, mines got buried 3 pages ago..don't feel bad
__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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