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06-16-05, 03:01 AM | #1 | |||
Banned: Cheating
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Journey To The Abyss (raw emotion)
IP: 591C A203
Journey To The Abyss:
A mans tale of innocence… When does love turn to hate? When does devastation turn to fate? Has destiny slipped? This pain I am forced to endure, hate may break through the crevices of love My banishment from paradise marks the peak of my shame as I fall with wings clipped Crashing to the ground I lay face to face with the abyss, is there no remorse from above? “Is this it?” I whisper aloud to the councilmen, the reply was as I had feared My strive for power, my unquenchable thirst for control has led to my demise These tears from my eyes, this blood that I shed, I lay here with my heart speared The shame of defeat, my Lord I beseech thee, I have lived a life of lies “Get up!” the guardians shout, and raise me to my feat, I remain battered by sorrow I stand on the ledge of doom, my life shattered to pieces, could I not have been tamed? I never deserved this life, I shall enter the abyss, and hope I may not live tomorrow Falling through this place of dark, I realize I must spend eternity entrapped in my shame Why has thy father who claimed to love me so given me such a cruel fate? My creator who told me he would embrace me in his arms no matter what I’ve done This God who claims to be perfection has punished me with hate, have I been betrayed? Did he predict this from my birth? Could it be that he lied to his most beloved son? If he is what he claims to be, then why was I created imperfect? With this lust for control Could he not have foreseen the events to come? Could he not have altered my destiny? Could he not have changed me, and helped his son from a grieving life of sorrow? Or could it be that he is not flawless, that he to has imperfections like me? Have I encountered the truth? Should he not be punished for his imperfections to? Should he not grieve for what he has done to me? I shall make him pay! My heart in hate, my mind in rage, I shall slay this lord who is oh so cruel An army I’ll conjure, from heaven to earth, I’ll become the new Lord to whom you pray! The fallen angels of light shall bear witness to the truth, I will make sure his blood drips I will end paradise with the dead as my army, on armageddon, we shall slay those above When does love turn to hate? When does devastation turn to fate? Has destiny slipped? This pain I am forced to endure, hate may break through the crevices of love… - This was the tale of Lucifer cast to hell after trying to overthrow god, and this is his side of the story, his view Last edited by Master Minded : 06-16-05 at 11:43 PM. |
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06-16-05, 09:34 PM | #2 | |||
Banned: Biting
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IP: C1B3 89A4
ok, this was more of a PROSE then a poem, but you did have the lines matched up very well. this was nothing but nice wording and emotion. showed some good character in this, made this piece feel like life. you brought back great emotion. this was nicely written good structure. stayed on KEY point with this piece. you have earned a place in the ranking. you have showed 2 outstanding pieces that are very eye ctaching to the reader.
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06-16-05, 11:53 PM | #3 | |||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 591C A203
................................................
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06-16-05, 11:54 PM | #4 | |||
Banned: Biting
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IP: C1B3 89A4
wats with u people doing them dots. how about saying thank you.
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06-16-05, 11:57 PM | #5 | |||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 591C A203
^^ shut up you damn foo', I was gonna add you to msn and say thanks, but it got fucked up, anyways im gonna RTF soon, pshhhh
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