Intro

Awful week and this is gonna be an awful mag cos I’m feeling awful at the moment. Be happy that you’re actually getting a mag, I don’t feel well at all.

New Champion

Brock Sampson made short work of Mercules reign and became the new LBL champ. Props to him.

The LBL Cypher

Ok cypher this week, reasonably active actually. It only had 7 replies when I posted but after that activity peaked up. Aeral took the cypher though with a few tight bars so props to him:

& dimebags? the wackest bitch i seen, thi's hoes gay..
it could be the end of the week and still not be son-day
Rapverse loves my girl jokes, & your's? she knows to keep her knee's bent,
follow'n her from place to place... but now you dunno where ya freakuent
Dude you suck, I'm being straight up, fuck tryna please ya..
..nobodies feelin num' bitch, like we were off the anesthesia

Wordz Ahgod came close with two fresh bars:

You didn't have to answer ...its like you pleeding for death
Ransums a heart-throb ....But I'll jab till he bleed from the chest
Im a king in the cypher, you still building horses to breach the castle
Rappers'll be re-rocking gold ...Coz Im bringing down platinums value

And Out Writechas dropped this nice bar:

u keep postin, hoping one day that maybe u'll get recognition
cuz u gotta head on ya shoulders..when u wake up with ya neck missin

Battle Reviews

Special Event Battles

Celebrity Picture Battle - 9th Degree vs Automatic

Ok battle. 9th dropped first and dropped quite a lot of lines. He had a couple of quotables, the reality show and whole season bars were nice. Auto dropped a lot less, like 10 lines or something in total but he had two tight quotables as well. The goldylocks and came outta the closet bars were dope. 9th Degree won 1-0.

Gauntlet Battle - L.I. vs urmomsuxdixxx

L.I. no-showed. Urmomsuxdixxx won.

Girlfriend Picture Battle - Ace Heratoga vs DaTrusHurtz

Tight battle here. Ace dropped first and his verse was cool, had a few nice quotables that are in the top punches. The wrigleys bar was dope. DaTrus dropped and he had a nicer verse, his verse was tiiight. He had like five quotables, and his get off bar was dope as fuck. DaTrusHurtz won this 4-2.

Hardcore Battle - Flash vs Malicious

Malicious no-showed. Flash won.

Mack Battle - SPuL vs JTR

Nice battle here as well. Spul dropped first and he came nice, had a few quotables and the mac/Microsoft bar was raw dope. JTR dropped tight as well, with quite a few quotables but SPuL was just better than him here and Spul won 3-1.

Tag Battle - Rush Lingo & urmomsuxdixxx vs SPuL & Untold

I wasn’t feeling this battle. Rush & urmom dropped first and urmom had one tight bar, the C Trl bar. Rush had nothing at all, seems like he didn’t try. SPuL & Untold dropped next, and Untold had the Rush-Lose bar, that was raw and SPuL had nothing, prob cos he had to write for a load of other battles this week. In the end SPuL & Untold won 2-0.

LBL Championship Match: 1. Mercules (9-1) vs 2. Brock Sampson (6-0)

Not a great battle. Merc didn’t come great, he had an embed bar that was dope. Brock came pretty damn played, he had a book-spine, lice-itchin and “you were easier to beat this week” bar. He had a stable bar that was nice though. Brock won this 7-0 in the end.

LBL Contendership Match: 3. L.I. (4-0) vs 4. Wordz Ahgod (4-0)

LI had some ok bars, gimmick match bar was aight, 4-1 bar was aight. Wordz had an ok bar with the flip-flop bar as well. This didn’t get many votes though, but LI still took it pretty easily and won 2-0.

Normal Battles

5. Flow Intell (3-0) vs 6. Sonny Dimebags (7-3)

Flow no-showed. Sonny won.

7. Malicious (4-1) vs 8. Erel Avent (9-3)

Double no-show.

9. Butler (13-1) vs 10. Euthanize (5-4)

Neither voted, neither won.

11. JTR (13-6) vs 12. Untold (5-2)

u like tortilla's punches?! i guess u think his voice is tight
cuz it ironic @ it bein the second best u seen.. but ur first choise to bite
meh, no
jacks gotta be hungry, cuz i can hear his stomach shoutin with in
son, ur supposed to chew chips.. not just bite the FUCK out of them
okish
ya armz are puney, pale as fuck 'n far from groovey
but jack'll be the next great white.. to play as Jawz in the new horror movie
no
jack's gettin a spankin, but'll bleed from the shankin
cause dawg, straiight up.. is where you'll never be in the rankins
ok
harder than me? nigga please.. i'm surprised u've stayed this long in the league
bitch, you've cum in 'n out so much.. you've prolly even fathered some seeds
no
i'll give ya a clue, bitch! ya not strong.. so the win, don't u persue it
so kid, ur guaranteed verse of the weak.. cause i'm plowin right through it
no
'n ya mack battle was wack! thats just somethin u pretend to be
cause jack's got such a problem with losin.. this cat still has his virginity
ok
a scary grin? ha! thats just the start.. i known to get very grim
so jack'll be gainin a lot.. or atleast a spot in one for me to burry him
not bad
instead of attack foolz, my crew just veiw past wack dudes
hoe! how are you on the scene??? when no one's even looking at you
no
u know that i hate jerks! so i put jack in the ground 'n he ate dirt
but if cats land on their feet.. why does this pussy go down face first?
cool
you know i'm a amazing 'n raw, so don't be hatin the gawd
soon jack'll crack a smile for me.. when i'm finished dislocatin his jaw
no, played
i'm hittin this fruit, him honest? naw, not him in the booth
cuz if jacks in a white lie.. thats just him sayin hes spittin the truth
no
i'm a hustla, homie! u a customa cronie! so heres some weed for free
but i'll still profit from ur bitch ass.. cuz ur dealer buys his weed from ME
no
peeps keep callin! 'n since i got work, i traffick to keep on ballin
but jacks also traffickin.. or at least causes it cuz his car keeps on stallin
ok, dont hit hard though
seein ya pics, i think of school.. cause beatin this geek really isn't a shocker
'n fuck kickin his ass.. i'm a give jack a wedgy, swirly 'n shove him into a locker
no

I'm tellin ya, anything he's sellin aint nice, he aint a fellon with wealth
I saw Untold on the corner with some wack merchandise
he was sellin himself
no
Get whored, I aint on his dick, but I sling better, honest kid
I could hit up the tittybar and see his girl do better on the strip
no
Got nothin' on the Rip, cuz i'm dishin out the top grade, I deserve the win
That means if I ever serve some wack herb, it's cuz i'm servin him
lol nice
Straight servin wimps, I drop to excite the voters, so i'm bestin him
While his verses are such a wild boar I swear I saw Steve Irwin wrestlin 'em
lol tiight
I'm messin up wimps, cuz i'm a bad boy, this guys a geek, so bet I win
And send his bitch ass to the hospital, but we still won't see Met-A sin
no
Man i'm tearing this bitch, no doubt that my style's scary as shit
But I'm also digging your style... a fucking grave to burry it in
meh played
I'm murkin this lame, throwing punches to leave you hurtin in pain
With an uppercut that'll have ya airborn like ya moms gave birth in a plane
lol no
I aim & bust, dis lame'll duck when I spray da pump & end dis nameless cunt
Only reason ya verses would be above mine is cuz they plane as fuck
ok
I'm flowing phat, so when i'm blowing cats and hoe'in ya ass
It's No Doubt who wins, even Gwen Stefani knows it's Jack
ok
Son knows I smack foes, exposin me? Nah fuck this dumb hoe's babble
He tried rattin me out but I won't let this pest control the battle
cool
I blow n' rattle, this pud wants to make a stir but he's fake n' wack
So this puddle get stomped on, and he still won't make a splash
no
The differance between us...
Girls loves me cuz I got fly wheels, while he stays fat sippin his shake
The similairity between us...
I'm swirlin the coolwhip on the road, he's swirlin the coolwhip... on his cake
lol cool
Honest ya gay, ya girls plays that pushy shit, you play that wussy shit
But he dont need to take orders from his gf for us to see this pussy whipped
no
You stay on Nick's prick, you whore's blow and when he holds on ya dick
U could turn a kids show into a porno when you drop Nickelodeon on his lips
lmao niiiice
To end this quick, i'll leave this geek on a crutch
But i'd hate to be brief
cuz I wouldn't wanna be on ya crotch
lool nice

This was onesided in my opinion. Untold dropped ok, he had a lot of only average and whack bars though, only one bar that I thought was tight. JTR pretty much killed him with a lot of tight bars. That nickelodeon bar was raaaw.

v/ JTR

13. K.ontroverz.Y (2-4) vs 14. Stanza (2-2)

Kon no-showed.

15. Aeral (2-0) vs 16. Rush Lingo (13-5)

Rush Lingo no-showed.

17. urmomsuxdixxx (2-0) vs 18. T.r.oo.P (1-1)

Neither voted, neither won.

19. Comedian (2-0) vs 20. Rae Report (1-0)

Rae Report bit, Comedian won.

21. SlicKnife (9-2) vs 22. Mystic (2-3)

Mystic no-showed, SlicKnife won.

23. LMAOffender (3-1) vs 24. Original (3-3)

Double no-show, both lost.

25. Artistik (1-1) vs 26. Thoughts (0-2)

Art said he wasn’t gonna show, Thoughts prob forgot about it, Art posted, Art won.

27. Out Writechas (0-0) vs 28. SMG (0-0)

Neither voted, neither won.

29. Eddie (0-0) vs 30. valor (0-0)

valor no-showed, Eddie won.

31. Flash (2-1) vs 32. Jack Swagger (0-0)

Jack no-showed, Flash won.


Top Punches

he treats bitches like livestock, its the only way he knows how
cuz his only STABLE relationship was with horses & cows

30. Brock Sampson vs Mercules

But for now, I'll lay off your wack rambling, hoe
At least it had more fan base than your reality show

29. 9th Degree vs Automatic

Wtf was that? I'm still trying to find your reason
I've had singles on TRL last longer than that whole season

28. 9th Degree vs Automatic

Girls loves me cuz I got fly wheels, while he stays fat sippin his shake
The similairity between us...
I'm swirlin the coolwhip on the road, he's swirlin the coolwhip... on his cake

27. JTR vs Untold

I get a breasy then bail, you can see me with tail
While Spul’s with those plywood bitches… flat, and easy to nail

26. JTR vs SPuL

u aint supreme in text son, and everyone knows what i mean
but atleast ur goldy locks match ur nursery rhyme scheme

25. Automatic vs 9th Degree

Carpet munching wouldn’t describe it when you go down on her clit
I don’t even wanna see her bush, she got hair growin out of her tits

24. Ace Heratoga vs DaTrusHurtz

Son knows I smack foes, exposin me? Nah fuck this dumb hoe's babble
He tried rattin me out but I won't let this pest control the battle

23. JTR vs Untold

u know that i hate jerks! so i put jack in the ground 'n he ate dirt
but if cats land on their feet.. why does this pussy go down face first?

22. Untold vs JTR

I looked at ya hoe, n' glanced down to the end of her chest
Her boobs are like Where's Waldo, they just seem to blend in with the rest

21. DaTrusHurtz vs Ace Heratoga

See I'm pissed as FUCK n' I can no longer bear it
I didn't donate my kaleidoscope to goodwill so ur bitch could wear it

20. DaTrusHurtz vs Ace Heratoga

I’m 20 years old, But ID is the last thing I’d check on ya chick
Tone muscles with a deep voice, I’d be checkin that bitch for a dick

19. Ace Heratoga vs DaTrusHurtz

read ya sig and this shit might be hard to believe
I'm an atheist too...I CAN'T believe in God when girls like that are conceived

18. DaTrusHurtz vs Ace Heratoga

Got nothin' on the Rip, cuz i'm dishin out the top grade, I deserve the win
That means if I ever serve some wack herb, it's cuz i'm servin him

17. JTR vs Untold

Straight servin wimps, I drop to excite the voters, so i'm bestin him
While his verses are such a wild boar I swear I saw Steve Irwin wrestlin 'em

16. JTR vs Untold

I'm a master in this pimp shit. Wooing the dames
I pull so many tricks...
... that I put Houdini to shame

15. SPuL vs JTR

We're makin' history dawg, but peeps are payin' the price
This is the first battle of its Kind, but makin' dudes see that pic wasn't nice

14. DaTrusHurtz vs Ace Heratoga

I’m telling ya b, girls love to go down and put their melon on me
Until I hit them with that sticky icky like I was sellin ‘em weed

13. JTR vs SPuL

So... if you fail to please, she won't frown, cuz there's a line
She like dominoes..
.. she'll go down one at a time!

12. SPuL vs JTR

ur NSYNC friend announced he was gay, but its really no surprise
cuz he came outta the closet to keep away from u queers still inside

11. Automatic vs 9th Degree

If she tried to holla, I’d reject the call tell her im outta minutes
Cause that gum line is big enough to put Wrigley outta business

10. Ace Heratoga vs DaTrusHurtz

fuck'a beef wit you, i'd rather just feed 'n abuse
cause if rush writin spul's verse.. then i'm already guaranteed to lose

9. Untold vs Rush Lingo & urmomsuxdixxx

Don't jerk me, i'm on that pimp shit, a dick is what a hoe gettin
Cuz I dominatetrix
And I also happen to know that's your moms pro-fession

8. JTR vs SPuL

Bitches say yes to me 24/7/365, don't play me yo
While that number above ^^ is your maybe/yes/no ratio

7. SPuL vs JTR

Spul'll never get signed or radio play, just writin them text words
only time you'll C Trl is when your bitin your next verse

6. urmomsuxdixxx vs SPuL & Untold

so merc rip ya chest up.. when the slug fly its murder
watch it embed right in front you.. like how me and your girl were

5. Mercules vs Brock Sampson

To end this quick, i'll leave this geek on a crutch
But i'd hate to be brief
cuz I wouldn't wanna be on ya crotch

4. JTR vs Untold

Ladies fall to my feet, I got their hearts and I can bet..
The way everyone digging this mac...
.. Microsoft's starting to sweat

3. SPuL vs JTR

This is over, time to move on, this whore's striked n' devoured
So i'll get off ur girl in a second... but it takes u more like an hour

2. DaTrusHurtz vs Ace Heratoga

You stay on Nick's prick, you whore's blow and when he holds on ya dick
U could turn a kids show into a porno when you drop Nickelodeon on his lips

1. JTR vs Untold

Verse of the Week

JTR

Alright, you dissed on my weedgame, now it's personal, lol.

I'm tellin ya, anything he's sellin aint nice, he aint a fellon with wealth
I saw Untold on the corner with some wack merchandise
he was sellin himself
Get whored, I aint on his dick, but I sling better, honest kid
I could hit up the tittybar and see his girl do better on the strip
Got nothin' on the Rip, cuz i'm dishin out the top grade, I deserve the win
That means if I ever serve some wack herb, it's cuz i'm servin him
Straight servin wimps, I drop to excite the voters, so i'm bestin him
While his verses are such a wild boar I swear I saw Steve Irwin wrestlin 'em
I'm messin up wimps, cuz i'm a bad boy, this guys a geek, so bet I win
And send his bitch ass to the hospital, but we still won't see Met-A sin
Man i'm tearing this bitch, no doubt that my style's scary as shit
But I'm also digging your style... a fucking grave to burry it in
I'm murkin this lame, throwing punches to leave you hurtin in pain
With an uppercut that'll have ya airborn like ya moms gave birth in a plane
I aim & bust, dis lame'll duck when I spray da pump & end dis nameless cunt
Only reason ya verses would be above mine is cuz they plane as fuck
I'm flowing phat, so when i'm blowing cats and hoe'in ya ass
It's No Doubt who wins, even Gwen Stefani knows it's Jack
Son knows I smack foes, exposin me? Nah fuck this dumb hoe's babble
He tried rattin me out but I won't let this pest control the battle
I blow n' rattle, this pud wants to make a stir but he's fake n' wack
So this puddle get stomped on, and he still won't make a splash
The differance between us...
Girls loves me cuz I got fly wheels, while he stays fat sippin his shake
The similairity between us...
I'm swirlin the coolwhip on the road, he's swirlin the coolwhip... on his cake
Honest ya gay, ya girls plays that pushy shit, you play that wussy shit
But he dont need to take orders from his gf for us to see this pussy whipped
You stay on Nick's prick, you whore's blow and when he holds on ya dick
U could turn a kids show into a porno when you drop Nickelodeon on his lips
To end this quick, i'll leave this geek on a crutch
But i'd hate to be brief
cuz I wouldn't wanna be on ya crotch
2nd – DaTrusHurtz
3rd – Ace Heratoga

Battle of the Week

Girlfriend Picture Battle – Ace Heratoga vs DaTrusHurtz

Ace Heratoga

Fuck la I'm pressed for time so i just made it 20... match up



Carpet munching wouldn’t describe it when you go down on her clit
I don’t even wanna see her bush, she got hair growin out of her tits
She got a nose for this battle shit, and that ain’t no joke
Take a snowboard to her face and really be hittin the slopes
If she tried to holla, I’d reject the call tell her im outta minutes
Cause that gum line is big enough to put Wrigley outta business
I’m 20 years old, But ID is the last thing I’d check on ya chick
Tone muscles with a deep voice, I’d be checkin that bitch for a dick
“Hey Ace that’s mean, stop dippin on my whore
My name’s Datrushurtz, my bitch’s name is EyeSore”
I ain’t know you dated Mrs. Pacman, I forgot that’s all
Girl got Nice set of chompers and she steady gobblin balls
I shoulda been in the weedhead battle, I woulda taken the throne
Cause right now… I’m fuckin higher than her pointy cheek bones
WAIT! I just noticed, she got a Siamese complex, shits got me -DEAD-
Leave it that way, I don’t wanna see the piece of shit attached to her head




Come on who you kidding… Ace ain’t a pimp but he got his mack down
The only way ya statement is true, is if it was that fat bitch in the background
Designated Ugly Fat Friend? Hahaha that shits a bluff
Both them bitches so ugly, even Homer wouldn’t want a Duff

DaTrusHurtz



Did a tornado hit you?!? There's no way ur girl is the best
I feel like Dorothy...I'm leadin' a fight to kill the wicked witch of the west
We're makin' history dawg, but peeps are payin' the price
This is the first battle of its Kind, but makin' dudes see that pic wasn't nice
That pic is just fucked up n' I feel its makin' me dumb
You got me all confused...I can't figure out what trailor she's from
See I'm pissed as FUCK n' I can no longer bear it
I didn't donate my kaleidoscope to goodwill so ur bitch could wear it
I looked at ya hoe, n' glanced down to the end of her chest
Her boobs are like Where's Waldo, they just seem to blend in with the rest
I got two questions faggot, 1) why make sluts nap on ya words
N' 2) Why the FUCK would ya post a pic after finishin' rappin' to her
This is real talk, use condoms, I don't feel any pity
Y'all MUST have a kid...only a daughter coulda done makeup that shitty
That pic left me scarred, I'm gettin' fused n' I swear
Ya girl's so Pale, I'll dump water to power the iron she used on her hair
I read ya sig and this shit might be hard to believe
I'm an atheist too...I CAN'T believe in God when girls like that are conceived
This is over, time to move on, this whore's striked n' devoured
So i'll get off ur girl in a second... but it takes u more like an hour

2nd – JTR vs Untold
3rd – Mercules vs Brock Sampson

Predictions

LBL Championship Match: 1. Brock Sampson (7-0) vs 2. L.I. (5-0)

Should be an alright battle, but onesided in my opinion. L.I. has dropped a couple of weak verses in a row where as Brock dropped dope a couple of weeks back, and dropped ok last week. Brock should get this.

LBL Contendership Match: 3. Sonny Dimebags (8-3) vs 4. Malicious (5-1)

Very onesided. As long as Sonny shows up and puts at least half the effort forward, he should win this pretty easily.

5. JTR (14-6) vs 6. Stanza (3-2)

Once again, very onsided. JTR had a pretty tight verse last week where as I haven’t seen anything great from Stanza. JTR should sweep this.s

7. DaTrusHurtz (6-0) vs 8. SPuL (6-0)

Dope battle if both try, IF is the key component to that though, if they both half ass then it’ll be an awful battle. Pretty hard to judge who’ll win this, they both have on and off days. I’m gonna take a guess and say DaTrusHurtz will win.

9. Wordz Ahgod (4-1) vs 10. Euthanize (5-5)

Wordz is probably more motivated, but Euthanize is the better battler. I dunno if Euth can really be bothered with the league anymore after catching a lot of losses, but he’s the safe bet to win this so I’ve got Euthanize taking this.

11. Flash (4-1) vs 12. Aeral (3-0)

Flash is alright, but Aeral is coming up and has been dropping some pretty cool verses in other leagues as well. Aeral should win this pretty easy.

13. Artistik (2-1) vs 14. Eddie (1-0)

Decent battle here. Art is pretty nice and when he wants to be Eddie is nice as well. I don’t think Art really gives a shit about the league though so Eddie should take this.

15. urmomsuxdixx (3-1) vs 16. Thoughts (0-3)

I have no clue what Thoughts verses are like, so urmomsuxdixxx will win this.

17. T.r.oo.P (1-2) vs 18. Out Writechas (0-1)

Based on skill Out Writechas should win this pretty easy, but whether or not he shows up remains to be seen. Still though, Out is better so he should win.

19. SMG (0-1) vs 20. Sinful (0-0)

I know nothing about Sinful, so SMG to win.

21. Gho$t Wrighter (0-0) vs 22. Sizzle (0-0)

Ghost ain’t great but I have no clue who Sizzle is, and his name is stupid. So Ghost Wrighter to win.

23. Caustic (0-0) vs 24. Platinum (0-0)

Both will no show probably.

25. Untold (6-3) vs 26. N.Tavarez (0-0)

Tight battle here. Both can come with the hotness but it seems like Tavarez is more motivated, as Untold is probably still pissed that I voted against him. Watch out for this battle though, if both try it’ll be nice. But Tavarez to win.

5 Battles To Watch

1. Untold vs N.Tavarez
2. DaTrusHurtz vs SPuL
3. Brock Sampson vs L.I.
4. Artistik vs Eddie
5. Sonny Dimebags vs Malicious

Don’t Sleep On

Artistik – He’s pretty good, let’s see if he improves over the coming weeks though.

Out Writechas – If he shows and tries he can be really nice, hasn’t shown a whole lot of motivation lately though.

Urmomsuxdixxx – Fucked up this week by not voting. Will have to drop nice to move back up the ranks.

Top 10 Power Rankings

10. Eddie – He’s hit and miss, so you never know if he’s gonna drop nice or gonna drop whack. If he tries though he should beat Artistik this week.

9. Aeral – Has a lot of potential, just needs to stay in the league to fulfil that potential.

8. Untold – I wasn’t impressed with his verse last week but the rest of the league seemed to like it. Got a big test against Tavarez this week though.

7. N.Tavarez – Just signed back into the league after signing out a few weeks ago, and if he drops his best he can champ it.

6. L.I. – Quite low but only because I don’t see him beating Brock. He’s gotta drop the verse of his life to beat Brock as well though, unless Brock majorly half asses.

5. SPuL – Nice battler but this week will be a big test for him, he’ll have to drop dope to win.

4. DaTrusHurtz – Just edges ahead of SPuL cos I see him beating SPuL this week. It’ll be a close battle though so he’ll have to drop dope.

3. JTR – Moving his way up the rankings and should be in the contendership match next week.

2. Sonny Dimebags – He’ll be in the champ match next week. Whether or not he wins is up to him, as one verse against N.Tavarez weeks back stood out as being really really dope, but he hasn’t dropped that good since.

1. Brock Sampson – Best verse of the week a couple of weeks ago and he easily won the champ match this week. Should retain pretty easily as well.

Outro

So yeah, awful week last week. And this week probably ain’t gonna be much better. If I was feeling well I’d make this mag super motivational, but I don’t so I can’t. Just drop and vote, that’s all that is asked of you. It’s easy as fuck. Peace.

^wordddd

2x Best audio head (Jan '05, Jan '06)
KORV 2 Final 4
KORV 0 and KORV 3 Champion
First 1-2-1 champ
3x Best Audio collaboration... (August '05-October '05)

Originally Posted by DaTrusHurtz Well at least ya put something up so props for that, wouldn't have blamed ya if ya didn't. Ya coulda reviewed what imo were the 2 best battles from last week tho, the mack battle and gf pic battle.

Originally Posted by DaTrusHurtz Well at least ya put something up so props for that, wouldn't have blamed ya if ya didn't. Ya coulda reviewed what imo were the 2 best battles from last week tho, the mack battle and gf pic battle.