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02-26-06, 03:03 PM | #1 | |||
1926
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"The Garden of Eden"
IP: 3240 794D
That last withering blink sinks
into the grasp of linking lashes and said never again will this iris dance in such a glimmering fashion, but rather, latter the Mad Hatter from the rabbit's cavernous palace to patternless grounds of valance to decorate the stage of Val Halla. To the blind the beauty is mind, use of which is the fuse lit to find such is the handicaps last stance. So the dams are barbed and roped, and the man of smiling scars holds to find the art of design in a mile of hope. Closes his eyes, gulps three times; tries to lose his sight as the light pries through loops and writes lines along side the wide end of his noose, as he resumes a fast descent through the brain's metal chutes again ....... to conclude in hallucinogens. Takes that last step left of sane and dances the fence that intersects two hemisphere of queer from the brain. Started there, deceiving ones self meaning to transcend reason and land pardoned ...................... In the Garden of Eden. Hollow feet follow eachother past east, down the serene semi-round frown that detached from a blown glass sea of navy blue to meet with gold in piece. The two interlocked, as blue rocked its new love to sleep, then the two stopped... Locked lips fast in a fit of passion as the two both fell to yellow grass limbs, and upon Blue's last thrust he knew... Kissed her cheek and whispered, "I Love You." Defined sections of their love streched on along the lost skies shattered white eyes, As from earth I saw the birth of a spectrum. Waved good-bye to my dien' days with a racing mind pacing the woods, and as that last second danced away, a man was blessed with death as the hands of God unlocked the gates. http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2670622 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...0630post2670630 |
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02-26-06, 03:06 PM | #2 | |||||||
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP: F1FC 4749
god damn, i have to say that from the very first line, i was into it. the rhyming was very interesting to read and the topic was ncie with well placed vocab and imagery....real nice drop atty, rtf in my tears of ink topical
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02-27-06, 01:57 PM | #3 | |||
1926
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IP: 0825 899A
All fed man... And thanks for the feedback on this, I apreciate it.
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03-06-06, 06:03 PM | #4 | ||||
Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
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IP: 1628 9DCA
cool imagery vocab metaphores very poetical lol
upppppppppp
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O.Y.D. |
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03-06-06, 07:30 PM | #5 | ||||
-da prophit-
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IP: CF86 0039
that shit was wicked and poetic. somethin different and new. (although it has been here for a while) still i really liked reading this piece keep up the good work kidd.
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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father. |
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03-06-06, 07:32 PM | #6 | ||||||
Above Originality
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IP: 9465 0DDF
nice......i got into this very fast...nice imagery and vocab metaphors. keep doin your thing FAM........
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Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future |
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03-07-06, 11:08 AM | #7 | |||
1926
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IP: 0825 899A
^What's your alias?
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03-18-06, 05:21 PM | #8 | |||
1926
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
*Sigh* Upping this
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03-18-06, 05:42 PM | #9 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 7536 F419
Closes his eyes, gulps three times;
tries to lose his sight as the light pries through loops and writes lines along side the wide end of his noose, as he resumes a fast descent through the brain's metal chutes again ....... to conclude in hallucinogens. Favorite lines. I like the picture you painted. Your wordage is what made this rhymes get my attention. The metaphors were soild which made the flow fluid. Stay sharp http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=224392
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[IMG][/IMG] |
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03-18-06, 09:46 PM | #10 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: DFAA AF54
hat shit was tite.. nice story tellin kidd
stay up
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absolute reality... |
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03-19-06, 03:09 PM | #11 | |||
1926
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IP: 0825 899A
*Shakes Head* Ya, thanks for really break it down... Fucking herbs
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03-19-06, 03:21 PM | #12 | ||||
E-Style, Bitch.
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IP: 4DE8 9288
Its good if you like this sort of thing..
I'm not a big fan of topical writing, but i'm always down to read a creative peice when I see one, and this certainly was one, good job on it... not much more I can say cos I really wouldnt know wtf I was talkin about seen as how I'm no poet as such, but I'll give props where Its due, good drop Att...
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People Hate What They Can't Conquer |
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03-19-06, 08:35 PM | #13 | |||||
Not_Indeph
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IP: 3586 2CB6
Omfgggggggggggg I hate you
10/10 fuckin faaaaaaaaaaaag |
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03-19-06, 10:33 PM | #14 | ||||
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IP: 5B30 0354
Closes his eyes, gulps three times;
tries to lose his sight as the light pries through loops and writes lines along side the wide end of his noose, as he resumes a fast descent through the brain's metal chutes again ....... to conclude in hallucinogens. ^That was sicc i was really feeling this drop..it was very emotional and had lovely feeling ...imagery was very good i was really feeling your wordplay and vocab usuage overall this was a very good drop.. and i was really feeling it ..nice job.
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The Competition
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04-09-06, 11:30 AM | #15 | |||
1926
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IP: 0825 899A
Thanks alot everyone.
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