Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-16-04, 09:11 AM | #1 | |||||||
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Wats Rite
IP: 8843 C8CE
Im in love once again
Is it rite to be with him He was with my best friend Should i ask her or just dive in May be i should jus go for him BUt my conscience tellin me no I dont kno I cant decide Im losin my mind Wats rite Ok aight ill tell her tonite But wut will she say Will we have a fight Forget it its to much trouble I dont need him anyway But wait is he worth it Losing my friend over him Man hes fine he is so cute My friend my friend wat would she do She wouldnt do this to me |
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02-17-04, 02:11 AM | #2 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 640C 3FBD
Seems like you're really confused. You kinda go back and forth on whether you should do it or not. Looks like you'll end up doing it. I dunno. Not really a whole lot to comment on. Did writing this help you make a choice? It was an okay read. Kind of short and not really much to it. Maybe to get better you could add more details and put more of a description of what's going on? So the reader can kind of paint a picture in their head, you know? Just a thought. Keep writing.
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02-17-04, 02:14 AM | #3 | |||||||
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IP: 2BFD 44EF
that was pretty good-- i liked it and i could see how you were torn-- keep up tha good work
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ALL EVIL ALL THA TIME http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/att...ntid=9017&stc=1 |
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02-17-04, 04:47 PM | #4 | |||||||
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IP: C1DA C961
thx fo da comment afta i wrote i kinda thought of more to write but thx fo da comment
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02-17-04, 05:05 PM | #5 | |||||||
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IP: 4577 CD9A
This feels like you arent sure whether you need him or you feel something odd all over again, it feels like your playing tug o war with yourself and answering all the questions by yourself...Go with what your heart says and your next poem will show you all doors
Nice drop ma...Harley
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Even Angels Wings Turn Black Meticulous Reality-HipHop Iz Bak |
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02-17-04, 05:54 PM | #6 | |||||||
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IP: C1DA C961
thx fo da comment keep em comin
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