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Old 11-29-06, 12:51 PM   #1
Mayhem
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Killin Shit

IP: 83DC D46E

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3115349
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3115360




Every time I grab a mic they say the boy is Killin~shit/
I spit a lil something to make sure ya'll is feelin~it/
If you ain't then fuck it I'll leave you bleeding~in~da~mud/
Run ya mouth I pull my nine and start feedin~you~da~slugs/
If you talk it then walk it otherwise leave~it~to~da~thugs/
Mayhem bust at anytime man cuz he~dont~give~a~fuck/
He~gone~gittem~buck, make sure the hood~stay~alive/
Piss me off and you must think todays a good~day~ta~die/

Last edited by Mayhem : 11-29-06 at 12:56 PM.
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Old 11-29-06, 03:17 PM   #2
Young Kidd (LM)
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Wow. For the simplicity it was actually a straight piece.

Text Gangster Pieces don't usually work but this one kept me reading, which means there is MAD potential in this..

He~gone~gittem~buck, make sure the hood~stay~alive/
Piss me off and you must think todays a good~day~ta~die/

I like that line..Take out all the extra stuff though..like the Grave in the middle of multi's and the slash's...it kind of takes away from the effect the piece could of had..plus with a little rewording and complexity that line could be ill.

Elevation is Evident. STay Up Man..keep movin.
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Old 11-30-06, 03:40 PM   #3
Mayhem
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IP: 83DC D46E

Uppin for some more feedback.
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Old 11-30-06, 03:58 PM   #4
Unfulfilled
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I liked it papi... i just wish it was a little longer you know...original.. those last 2 lines were fire though lol i liked it
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