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01-06-04, 08:23 PM | #1 | ||||||
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John Doe
IP: 1B81 17C4
Ice sickles form on the tips of my beard
Not shavin, been freezing for some odd years Color faded, white echoing long lost cheer I hear the shattering sound of a frozen tear I wake up at seven and hit the invisible snooze Close my eyes and forget about the holes in my shoes Pretending that I have a daily wardrobe to choose Assuming that out there, there’s a drug to be used Trying to remember the feel of a bed Remember the feeling of a pillow under my head I sleep on the cold damp concrete instead Close my eyes and wish that I was dead Read the daily news while it keeps me warm Heard the same story a thousand times before, I’ve sworn Been blessed with bad luck since I was born Should of know one day my cloths would be tattered and torn I call the streets my home, rain sun or snow Tattered feet walk the concrete flow Look in the eyes of passer bys ill never know If you were wondering my name…they call me John Doe http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104340 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104444 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104456 *when police find a dead homless person the call them John Doe* Last edited by Dr.Gonzo : 01-06-04 at 08:39 PM. |
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01-06-04, 08:41 PM | #2 | |||||||
..Soft Focus..
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IP: 1B3B C284
This was good, it had a good sence of creativity and you knew what you were talking about which was great nice stanzas all of them fit good together the imagery was good the structure was good over all a great piece..good read...if you could hit up something in my sig thanks
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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